


Whenever I'm Alone With You

by Casloveshisfreckles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bottom!Cas, Bottoming from the Top, Dean in Panties, Destiel - Freeform, Dom/sub Undertones, Easy Breath Play, Edging, Fluffy, I hope you're ready for fluff, M/M, Rimming, SO FLUFFY, Secret Relationship, Soft Boys, Spanking, Top!Cas, author!Cas, because, bottom!Dean, domestiel, happy ever after, rockstar!dean, team switch, top!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 11:57:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15581469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casloveshisfreckles/pseuds/Casloveshisfreckles
Summary: Dean is wrapping up a tour and Cas is starting his next book, putting them in New York together, giving them a few days to enjoy each other. A simple joke leads to the decision they've spent their whole lives readying for.The one major obstacle: coming clean to Sam after all this time. After all theliestruths they’ve omitted.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and thank you for coming over to check out my submission to this year's DeanCas Mini Bang! It's been so fun to work on this story and it ended up being the perfect piece for this challenge! Special thanks to the Mods who worked their butts off to host this challenge that's already given this fandom some new classics. I urge you to check out the rest of the fics in the challenge after you're done here! 
> 
> I had the absolute best time working with [Saawek](https://saawek.tumblr.com) for this story. The first time she showed me her art, I immediately cried and set the picture as the background for the keyboard on my phone. I am so in love with the art for this story, I swear, I couldn't have dreamed of a better interpretation of this story and this version of these two guys I love so much. Saa, thank you, thank you, thank you my dear, for seeing something special in my story and bringing it to life. You're a gem and I hope our paths cross in the future! Anytime you feel like drawing DeanCas again, hit me up girl! 
> 
> All these challenges require a beta and I'm always surprised and delighted when [FanForFanatic](https://fanforfanatic.tumblr.com) agrees to work with me and make me better in all kinds of ways. What else is there to say besides thank you, darling? *blue heart*
> 
> Song Title inspired by [The Cure's Lovesong](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXCKLJGLENs).
> 
> I hope you enjoy our boys.

Dean walks out of the studio, yawning and wishing he had a bigger cup of coffee that morning. He’s on interview ten of what feels like a thousand and he’s already sick of them. They all ask the same questions: _do you feel this tour has been a success; what's your favorite song on this album; are you seeing anyone special?_ It’s annoying but Sam says it's necessary, since New York is a huge market for him and the band.

They’re on the last stop of their U.S. Tour and Dean is exhausted, but this is the job so he sucks it up and trudges along.

As Dean makes the rounds, he thanks whatever genius stuck fifteen radio stations in one building so he could get them all done at once. Dean checks his watch and thinks he might have enough time to grab another coffee before hitting the next show and climbs on the elevator to go down to the lobby where he saw a coffee cart earlier.

His phone is buzzing in his pocket once he hits the ground floor. He pulls it out and grins.

Castiel Novak’s name is flashing on his screen over a picture Dean took of him last year in Fiji. Cas is sitting on the dock of their bungalow, his head thrown back in laughter at some dumb joke Dean made. He’s shirtless and his skin is golden, his hair wild from the wind and Dean’s hands, his smile wide and gummy. Cas’ eyes are bluer than the ocean behind him and he looks radiant. The picture always makes Dean smile.

Dean slides his finger over the screen to answer the call.

“Heya, Cas. Long time, no see.” Dean saw Cas last month on a short overnight in Los Angeles but anytime they’re apart always seems too long to Dean.

“Hello, Dean.” Cas’ whiskey soaked voice always makes something stir in the pit of Dean’s stomach.

“How's it going? How's the newest book?” Cas writes biographies about famous dead people. His latest is a New York Times bestseller about Steve McQueen (Dean’s suggestion) and Dean's already read it twice. “Who's the next dead guy?”

“I've started working on JFK. He might be my biggest project yet.”

Hell yeah, Dean is a John F. Kennedy junkie and Cas knows it.

“Ooh awesome. He's my favorite.”

“Yes, Dean, I remember.” Cas clears his throat. “Did you know he lived in New York on and off since he was ten years old?”

“Well shit, Cas. I did not know that.” Dean clears _his_ throat. “Did you know I'm on the road? We just so happen to be playing in New York this month. Finishing up our U.S. tour.”

“Is that so?” Cas’ voice is teasing. “That's quite the coincidence, considering.”

“Come on, Cas, accidents don’t just happen accidentally, ” Dean grins; he knows this game. Loves it, in fact. “You talked to Sam, huh.”

“I did.” He can hear the smile in Cas’ voice. “I’ll be working here for a month or two. I arrived last week and rented a place in the Tenderloin, right on the river. Not far from Madison Square Garden, actually.”

Dean’s smile is wide. “Tell you what, if you're available tonight, I'll leave a ticket at the door for you.”

“I believe my schedule just opened up.” Cas is trying hard to sound casual but Dean can hear the suggestiveness in his voice.

The call ends and Dean feels a jolt of excitement. He buys his coffee and makes his way back upstairs, not realizing how much he’s smiling until the next DJ mentions how happy he looks. All Dean can do is nod and continue with his interviews, thoughts of Cas running through his head the rest of the morning.

 

><><

 

After their call ends, Castiel tosses his phone on the bed and steps out onto the deck of the houseboat he’s rented for the month. He loves this spot; it’s the best rental he’s ever found in New York. The boat is permanently moored in a private harbor but the sound of the river is soothing and he’s surrounded on every side by the sights of the city.

Castiel has definitely stayed in worse places.

He leans on the railing and gazes out over the water. Castiel watches the boats sliding by and thinks about the email he got from Sam six months ago with a copy of the band’s schedule. Seeing New York as the last tour stop solidified his decision to finally try and tackle JFK as the subject for his next book. Sam manages the public relations for Dean’s band and always keeps Castiel in the loop about their comings and goings.

They’ve been friends since senior year of high school. Sam struggled with math and the school assigned Castiel as his tutor and from there, they became fast friends. It was during a particularly sudden winter storm which prevented Sam from riding his bike home that Castiel met Sam’s big brother Dean for the first time. When he came rolling up to the school in his beautiful 67’ Chevy Impala to pick Sam up, he took Castiel’s breath away. Up until then, he’d never seen anything as intriguing and beautiful as Dean Winchester.

After that, their study sessions moved to the house the brothers lived in with their dad and his relationship with Dean began. It started with intense make out sessions; Dean pushing Castiel up against the wall anytime he would leave Sam’s room. Dean would wait for him in the shadows and when Dean would kiss Cas, it taught him what it felt like to be alive.

Castiel lost his virginity to Dean the night of his graduation after Dean snuck them out of the party his dad threw for Sam, driving to their favorite spot, an open field where they could come together under the stars. Dean was gentle and sweet that night, opening Castiel up and moving slow as could be so as not to hurt him. It wasn't until Castiel wrapped his legs around Dean and asked him, “please Dean, fuck me harder,” that Dean stopped holding back. When Castiel closed his eyes that night, he could see the entire universe on the back of his eyelids.

Dean had all Castiel’s firsts and he wouldn't change that for anything.

The only problem with their relationship, and when Castiel thinks about it hard enough, it really is the only problem—  

Sam doesn't know.

Castiel should feel guilty, but he doesn't. It's not Sam's fault he has no idea his brother and his best friend have been hooking up since high school. They've just never opted to tell him. Him and Dean are happy with their arrangement, always have been. If Sam knew, he'd kill them both, mostly for keeping him in the dark.

They kept it up while Castiel was at UCLA, Dean having moved to Los Angeles to pursue his music. They practically lived together then, Dean renting an apartment in West Hollywood, close enough for Castiel to stay over and not have to get up too early for his morning classes. When Sam would come visit, Castiel would go back to his dorm, but not before Dean would kiss him stupid when he walked him to his car.

Four years went by and suddenly, Castiel was graduating and Dean's band was taking off, opening for bigger bands and getting picked up to join a tour with some of the hottest artists in the industry.

Castiel started his first book, a biography about Winston Churchill that had him living in London for a year and as usual, timing was everything and Dean's band toured Europe for the first time.

They spent a week together in Paris, only leaving their room to eat and kiss under the Eiffel Tower.

Castiel’s writing took him all over the world and most people would chalk it up to coincidence when his research took him to the same country that Dean's career brought him. Castiel would deny it till his dying day if anyone accused him of planning his books around Dean's tour schedules.

It’s also no one else’s business if in between albums and books and tours for both of them, they drop off the face of the earth for a month at the same time.

The first time Dean suggested they escape for a while was when he surprised Castiel by whisking him away to a cabin in Whistler, Canada. They spent their days skiing and exploring on the snowmobiles Dean rented. They spent their nights cooking elaborate meals together and drinking expensive bottles of wine before getting wrapped around each other in front of the fire. Castiel will never forget the sound of the flames crackling and popping mixed with Dean’s groans when Castiel would sink into him. Whenever Castiel can make Dean’s eyes roll in the back of his head as he loses himself in Castiel’s touch, it makes Castiel feel like he’s flying.

Another vacation was spent in Bali. Castiel planned this trip for them and together they swam with sea turtles, climbed a volcano to watch the sunrise, and toured a Hindu temple inhabited by monkeys. One of Castiel’s favorite pictures of Dean was taken when one of the monkeys tried to steal his sunglasses. Dean is trying to scowl through his laughter and his eyes are sparkling and every time Castiel looks at the photo, he feels the same sense of warmth and wonder he felt the first time he laid eyes on Dean.

Castiel has the picture set as the background on his phone.

Their private bungalow was steps away from a waterfall and their own beach and they spent hours making love in the spray of the falls and napping together on the warm sand. It was the closest to Heaven Castiel ever thinks he might reach.

They've seen the world together and Castiel thinks his life has been well lived. His time with Dean is never wasted, and Castiel relishes every moment in his arms.

Castiel checks his watch and sees he has a few hours before the show starts. He goes back inside to tidy up, stacking the pages of his manuscript and all the books he borrowed from the library the day before. He changes the sheets on his bed and makes sure everything they might need is in one drawer of the nightstand. Castiel eats a light dinner, showers and dresses, buttoning his waistcoat closed and smoothing out the wrinkles. He grabs his phone and his keys and leaves to catch a cab to Madison Square Garden.

 

><><

 

With his interviews done for the day, Dean is back in his hotel with only a few hours before he has to be at the Garden for his show. He eats and has his pre-show meeting with the band, firming up their final set list for the weekend.

After his shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, Dean pulls his duffle out of the closet. He opens the zipper and grabs a smaller bag—a smaller black satin bag, to be exact. Dean tugs on the drawstring and the pouch opens, and he takes in the shimmery, soft fabrics in every color imaginable. He dips his hand in, the contrasting fabrics rubbing against his skin, arousal zipping down his spine.

Dean has to remind himself that he's going to get what he needs tonight, and it will be worth the wait.

Cas always is.

Dean finds what he's looking for; a pair of satin panties, maroon and trimmed with black lace. He drops his towel and gives himself a few quick strokes to take the edge off before he steps into the panties, feeling the drag of the fabric catching the fine hair on the inside of his thighs. Dean adjusts himself so everything stays put and he shudders as he walks the few steps to the closet, feeling the slide of the satin against his cock as he moves. He grabs his phone and snaps a few pictures for Cas. Dean tries not to think about how dirty they'll be getting later, and instead focuses on getting dressed, pulling on his favorite pair of leather pants and a maroon v-neck.  

He's half hard when he climbs out of the limo at the back entrance to MSG, the leather and satin working together to make him suffer. It's not until he's in his dressing room, minutes before he's about to go on stage, that he shoots a quick text to Cas with one of the pictures he took earlier.

 

><><

 

Castiel stares at the picture from Dean and swallows hard. It's a shot of Dean from the nose down, his pink, full lips twisted in a devilish smirk, freckles scattered across his chest, including the one on Dean's left peck that Castiel loves to kiss. Dean's sun kissed skin goes for miles, lower and lower until Castiel’s eyes find one of the few things in the world that can make his mouth water.

Dean is wearing a pair of maroon satin panties, his hard dick creasing the front, the tip of the head peeking out from behind black lace trim and holy shit, Castiel can't wait to get his mouth on Dean.

Before he can think too much about it, the house lights go down and the crowd cheers. Castiel is sitting to the left of the stage, having been given a VIP pass when he visited Will Call. He smiles and waves at Andrea and Dorothy. He’s with the husbands and wives of the band and Castiel laughs to himself as he greets them; his face is as familiar to them as anyone considered a “spouse” and their friends often joke they should just get married already, make it official.

Castiel would say yes if Dean ever really asked him.

When Dean comes on stage, the atmosphere of the arena shifts. The crowd is electric and their cheers buzz through his skin. It reminds Castiel of how Dean makes him feel anytime he walks into a room. The light changes and Castiel’s blood hums every time Dean is near. Watching him on stage in front of twenty thousand people doesn’t change that.

Castiel is staring, and he knows the smile on his face is huge; it makes his cheeks hurt. Dean steps into the light and his eyes lock on Castiel. Dean’s grin widens and Castiel feels a thrill run through him. Castiel takes Dean in, his eyes trailing up from his black boots to his bow legs wrapped in leather. He squirms a little when he thinks about what's underneath, waiting for him to discover later.

Dean is wearing a matching maroon v-neck and Castiel licks his lips in appreciation. He looks delicious and Castiel looks forward to seeing all those clothes on his bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

Dean greets the crowd here to see him and his voice reverberating throughout the stadium sends chills down Castiel’s spine. Dean’s voice always reminds Castiel of autumn, like that feeling he gets when the days become shorter and he can feel dusk settle in his bones. It’s like a deep breath of cold air, the kind that makes you feel new, like you can take on just about anything.

Castiel dreams about it and now, he closes his eyes to let Dean’s voice and the sound of twenty thousand people worshipping him, wrap around him. Dean once confided in Castiel that hearing all these people chant his name made him feel like he was flying and falling at the same time. Considering that was exactly how Dean made Castiel feel, he could understand completely.

Castiel told him as much when Dean was riding him later that night.

The band opens with one of their biggest hits. The opening chords to “The Righteous Man” start and Castiel grins. When Dean was writing this song, they were spending a week in Seattle before Castiel went away for a promotional tour and their conversation had turned to religion. When Castiel woke in the morning, Dean was up and scribbling in the notebook he always carried, inspired by their conversation so much that it kept him up all night.

The song spent ten weeks in the number one spot on the charts and twenty-four weeks in the top ten. It was the song that catapulted the band from good to great. After that, it was all headline tours and months on the road. Castiel is proud of Dean and his success and the thought he might have played even a small part of that always makes him feel warm. When Dean sent him the album before it was released and he read the last line of the dedication Dean wrote, his heart felt fit to burst.

_I find my happiness where my sun shines. Shine, darling._

Dean always calls Castiel his sunshine and the endearment is something that makes Castiel’s heart flutter every single time Dean utters it.

Castiel settles into his seat to enjoy the show.


	2. Chapter 2

They finish their third encore and Dean high fives Benny and Charlie as he runs off the stage. They had a fan-fucking-tastic show, if you ask Dean, and he’s riding high. The thrill of the crowd makes his blood sing and having Cas smiling up at him the entire time made this show one of his favorites they’ve ever played.

The minute Dean steps off the stage, he’s surrounded by handlers and Sam’s there too, a head taller than everyone else. He pushes his way through the crowd and presses a water bottle into Dean’s hand.

“Great show, good energy up there.” Sam gives his shoulder a shake before he guides them to the dressing rooms. “Great crowd too.”

Dean nods his head in agreement as he drinks.

“Did I see Cas in the VIP section?” Sam asks casually.

Dean wipes his lips and smirks to himself. Sam hates it when Dean doesn’t tell him Cas is coming to a show but it’s not Dean’s fault when Cas fails to mention it to Sam.

“You know we always leave a ticket for him at every show.” Dean replies, just as casual.

“Oh, do _we_?”

Dean knows his brother is smirking at him and he rolls his eyes before turning back to him. “Shut up, Cas is family.” He tosses the water bottle into the trash. “Whatcha got for me?”

Sam tells him that tomorrow’s show is sold out too, and he starts going over Dean’s schedule for the rest of the week. The tour is over after tomorrow night and Dean is used to taking a few weeks off at the end of a tour. Now that he knows Cas will be in New York for a while, Dean’s been thinking about staying.

“Sam, can’t this shit get put off for a few weeks? I need some R&R, know what I mean?”

“You guys are really hot right now, Dean. We need to take advantage of that momentum and run with it. Don’t you want to get back into the studio?”

Dean’s been writing songs for their third studio album for a while now. Sam’s right, he wants to start recording but so soon after the tour? Dean’s afraid of burning out. At least that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it. Dean knows a few weeks off won’t kill them. He’ll post some selfies on Instagram and call it a day.

“Two weeks, Sam. Can I get that, at least?” He gives Sam his best puppy eyes. “You can go home and see Jess for a while. Take her up to Tahoe, stay in the cabin. We can meet up in LA after.”

Dean can see Sam’s resolve cracking and he knows he’s won.

“Fine. We’ll do it your way.” Sam gives him a wry smile. “Jess will be happy to hear it.”

“Ah, see, that’s my boy,” Dean grins as Sam pulls his phone out. “Tell Jess I said hey. You comin’ over to the room?”

Sam is already distracted by his phone, his eyes lighting up when Jess answers. He nods and waves Dean away as he leaves the room to talk. Dean uses the ensuite bathroom to wash his face and text Cas to let him know he’s on his way over to the hotel.  All the families are driven back to the band’s hotel after the show so Dean knows Cas is already waiting for him there. His dick gives an interested twitch when Dean takes a few minutes thinking about what they might get up to tonight. It becomes even more interested when Dean remembers the photo he sent Cas before the show.

Cas might want to smack him around for being such a tease and fuck, Dean hopes he’s that lucky. It’s half the reason he sent the picture.

His thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door and Charlie poking her head inside, her red curls bouncing around her face. “Ready, my dude? The car’s waiting for us.”

Dean nods and tucks his phone into his back pocket and follows Charlie to the Range Rover waiting to take them back to the hotel.

 

><><

 

Castiel grips his gin and tonic and stares out at the New York skyline. From where he stands out on the balcony, he can see the Empire State Building, lit up in orange and blue; the Mets must have won tonight. He sips his drink and notices the difference between his view of the city now compared to a few hours ago on the boat. Then, he felt small, recognizing his place in this big world. Now he’s standing at the top of it and feeling like he’s been afforded the opportunity to do pretty much anything he’d like.

The thought is almost overwhelming.

He scowls into his drink for a moment. Gin always makes him too introspective. Dean never stocks it wherever they stay because he says it makes them both too weepy. Castiel knocks back the rest of the drink and decides to switch to beer.

He turns at the sound of a commotion by the door; the band has arrived. Hugs are being exchanged and Castiel watches from outside as Dean enters last, laughing at something Charlie is saying to him over her shoulder. Dean shuts the door and turns, his eyes sweeping the room, disappointment growing on his face. Castiel’s cheeks grow warm as he realizes Dean is looking for him.

When Castiel steps back inside and as Dean’s eyes find his, a slow smile builds on Dean’s face, getting brighter and brighter as he walks towards Castiel.

Dean will always be the most gorgeous man in any room.

Nobody blinks an eye when Dean wraps his arms around Castiel’s shoulders to pull him close, his mouth ghosting along Castiel’s jaw, his lips brushing against Castiel’s ear.

“Hey, sunshine.”

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel murmurs as he returns the hug, his arms slipping around Dean's slim hips. His fingers clench Dean's shirt before both men pull away. They continue to clasp each other's shoulders for a moment while they exchange a heated glance, twin smiles on their faces. Castiel’s eyes flick down to Dean's full lips and get caught there when Dean flicks his pink tongue out to wet them.

Castiel would give his last dime and the shirt off his back to empty this hotel room right this second.

But Benny clearing his throat reminds them both how impossible that is.

Castiel watches the parade of emotions cross Dean's face. He can read them with ease.

Lust is replaced by disappointment, followed by a brief flash of irritation that quickly flickers into Dean's signature smile, the one for the cameras and the crowds, and everyone else Dean feels obligated to please.

Castiel hates that smile but respects it. He knows what it means, what role Dean needs him to play and Castiel slips into _that_ just as easy as anything. He stands a little straighter and puts his arm around Dean's shoulders, guiding them back to their waiting friends.

Dean settles Castiel on the couch, leaning down so Castiel can whisper, “beer, please,” in his ear before Dean is pulling back, his lips brushing Castiel’s ear as he goes. A shiver runs down Castiel’s back as he watches Dean walk to the kitchenette. It's hard to tear his eyes away as Dean pops the bottle caps with the bottle opener, tossing them into the trash as he laughs at something Dorothy is saying. He wags his finger at her as he smiles and shakes his head. Dean leaves to return to the couch and Castiel has to watch those leather wrapped bow legs saunter towards him.

Castiel doesn't miss the mischievous grin Dorothy gives him.

He ignores it in favor of those leather pants and what he knows to be under them. He's impatient. Castiel wants to rip those pants off with his teeth, not sit here and make small talk.

Castiel would feel worse but—maroon.

He bites his lip when Dean settles in next to him, their thighs pressing together. Dean shifts his leg every few moments, and the friction is killing Castiel. He shifts to relieve the pressure on his growing erection and he can see Dean smirk from the corner of his eye as he pats Castiel’s knee.

“Hey guys, talk to Cas here about Steve McQueen.” Dean is cocky and sure as all his friends groan. They throw a few cocktail napkins, one landing in Castiel’s lap. Dean chuckles and bats it away, his hand brushing Castiel’s crotch.

Castiel squirms.

“Cas, we love the book but Dean is driving us bananas. It's all he wants to talk about,” Charlie explains.

A warmth blooms in Castiel’s chest.

“All right, okay, it's not _all_ I want to talk about.” Dean is trying to wave them all off but it's clear he isn't getting off the hook that easy and Castiel decides he isn't going to help him.

“Is that why you asked for ten advanced copies?” Castiel leans into him before righting himself.

“I didn't want to share my copy, so I just got one for everyone,” Dean mutters.

Castiel takes pity and pats Dean's cheek. “I appreciate your support, Dean.”

Dean's scowling but his eyes are shining as he grabs Castiel by the wrist and sinks his teeth into the flesh of his palm before he takes the arm and tucks himself under it.

“You guys are like an old married couple,” Dorothy quips at them. Castiel sees Charlie nudge her elbow into Dorothy's side and Castiel realizes they both know in almost the same instant he realizes he doesn't care.

“Yeah, how long’s it been, brother?” Benny jokes.

Thirteen years, Castiel thinks automatically.

“Thirteen years and he hasn't made a proper lady of me yet, ain't that right, Cas?” Dean waves around his empty left hand and Castiel blushes and buries his face into Dean's hair with a groan. The conversation moves away from them and Castiel pulls back, needing some air to come between them. He doesn't stop touching—he never wants to stop touching Dean—and he lets his hand linger on the back of Dean's neck, his thumb sweeping up and down the curve.

The tension is leaving Dean's shoulders, but he's also started to fidget. Castiel knows all Dean's tells and this one is saying Dean's ready to go. He drapes his arm back around Dean's shoulders and leans in to speak quietly in his ear.

Dean leans ever so slightly into him.

“I want to take you back to my place and pull these goddamn leather pants off with my teeth. I want to see your pretty cock wrapped in silk before I take it in my mouth and make you come down my throat.”

Dean’s hands draw Castiel’s eyes down to where they sit in his lap, clenching and unclenching.

“The longer I sit here not able to do that, Dean, the more ways I imagine how I want to have you tonight.”

Castiel pauses and presses a thoughtful finger to his lips.

“Pity I didn't bring my ropes with me.”

And that does it. Dean stands, a little wiggle the only sign that his pants are tight. They make the rounds and their usual excuses and the band accepts them, used to their ruse. Dean’s duffle is stashed in the hallway and Castiel grins when Dean slings it over his shoulder.

When the door shuts behind them, Castiel turns to Dean while they wait for the elevator.

“They all know.”

Dean glances at him, “Think so?”

“You don't?” That amuses Castiel.

“I think they think they know. But they don't know, know.” Dean quirks an eyebrow. “You know?”

Castiel just shakes his head and huffs out a laugh as their elevator arrives. When they climb on and the doors slide shut, it's only a moment of staring across the shared space before the duffle hits the ground with a thud and they're on each other, both reaching for the other and meeting in the middle, mouths hot and crashing together. Dean's hands slide into Castiel’s hair and Castiel wraps Dean in his arms, pulling their bodies together as Castiel slams them into the wall of the elevator. He takes care to keep their hips flush so only Dean's shoulders are pressed into the mirror behind them.

Dean breaks their kiss to pant against Castiel’s mouth but Castiel doesn't want to relent, he wants to taste Dean. He takes Dean's mouth again and teases the seal of his lips with his tongue. Dean opens his mouth with a moan and Castiel drinks it in as their tongues come together in a hot slide.

“Cas,” Dean whines into his mouth as he grinds his hip into Castiel’s.

Before he can respond, the elevator stops with a jolt and they break apart, both straightening their clothes as the door slides open. There’s a town car waiting outside for them and Dean gestures for Castiel to get in first. He follows him in and presses Castiel against the door to suck at his neck. His mouth is still hot and Castiel swallows a moan and shoves Dean off when their driver climbs into the front seat. Dean chuckles as he straightens and buckles his seatbelt.

It’s dark inside the car, the windows tinted. Dean slides open the moonroof and Castiel tips his head back to stare up at the city passing above them. The tall buildings are all lit up, their lights shining down on them. Castiel loves the breeze on his face and Dean crowding close to him. Dean reaches up and lets out a breathy laugh when he stretches his hand out into the open air. After a beat, he pulls his hand back and grabs Castiel’s, winding their fingers together and pulling their intertwined hands into the wind. It’s cool and it tickles Castiel’s skin and he grins as he stares up at their hands. Dean’s lips touch the corner of Castiel’s mouth and he stills, turning only to look at Dean when Dean pulls away. They’re a breath apart, hands still clasped but now resting between them. Castiel can’t look away and Dean’s eyes search his.

Castiel prays Dean finds what he’s looking for.

 

><><

 

Dean can't help himself. Cas is so close and he smells so good, like lemon and old library books. Dean wants to bury his face in the crook of Cas’ neck and just breathe in his familiar scent but right now, Cas’ staring up at the skyscrapers with wonder etched on his face and he’s the most beautiful thing Dean has ever seen in his life.

He doesn't even try to stop himself from leaning in and kissing Cas. He presses his lips to the corner of Cas’ soft mouth and when Cas freezes, Dean leans back. Cas’ hand is warm and when his eyes meet Dean’s, time slows down. Dean knows the city is out there, that everything is rushing by them but for a minute, he lets himself fall deep into what he sees when he looks into Castiel’s eyes.

It’s where he found his entire world.

Dean can’t tell how long they stay like this but it feels like too soon when the car stops at a brightly lit gate at the docks. “Where the hell are we?”

Cas just gives him a smirk and climbs out of the car, slipping their driver some money. Dean knows Cas is ever the gentleman, insistent with his manners. It’s one of the many things Dean loves about him.

Another thing he loves about Cas is his ass and watching him walk away. He’s barely paying attention as they walk down a small gang plank to the dock, making a sharp left, away from the street. They walk for a few minutes before Cas stops under one of the lamps. The light above him glows like a halo and Dean wraps his arms around a waiting Cas, swooping low to nose at Cas’ neck, his mouth dragging near the collar of his shirt.

“Hey, Angel.” Dean sucks Cas’ earlobe into his mouth. “Love you, tonight.”

Cas groans. “Love you so much, tonight,” he grits out as he tears himself away from Dean. Cas grips Dean’s hand and practically yanks him past a few more boats. Dean grins and follows while he thinks about the first time he told Cas he loved him.

What they had went mostly unspoken until Cas’ senior year at UCLA.

It was one of those late spring Los Angeles nights when it’s hot but not too hot, and the sun is barely setting at eight pm. Cas had a late class—screenwriting, if Dean remembers correctly—and Dean was picking him up after class so they could eat and hang out. Sometimes Dean would drive them to the beach just so he could kiss Cas and enjoy his lips, salty from the ocean air.

Dean planned to take them that night but when he was walking to where they usually met up, Cas was already there, laughing with someone. A tall, dark haired someone. Cas’ hand was pressed against the guy's chest and seeing that made something inside Dean crumple. He stood there for a minute, watching his best friend laugh with someone else and feeling a pain in his chest he couldn’t explain.

Cas caught Dean’s eye and winked as he told his new friend goodbye. When Dean drove them straight back to his apartment without saying a word, Cas knew something was up and instead of leaving Dean to stew, he pressed him to find out what was wrong. The rest of the night was awful; Dean shutting down while Cas yelled at him to get his head out of his ass. They had one of those fights where they each laid it all out in ugly words and cutting insults, things they’d never dare utter to one another in any other situation. Things that simply weren’t true, said in the heat of the moment.

As the night got later, their fight lost steam and the regret started to sink in and it didn’t take long until they both gave in to their exhaustion and the complete sorrow they were both feeling, thinking this was the end. They laid on the floor together next to the flipped coffee table Dean had kicked over in a rage, hours before.

Cas’ head was tucked against Dean’s chest, his breath warm on Dean’s skin. When he reached down and took Dean’s cock in his hand, Dean didn’t stop him. Cas kissed away the tears on Dean’s cheeks while he came with Cas wrapped around him and after, Dean whispered his apologies and begged for Cas’ forgiveness.

“There’s nothing to forgive, Dean,” Cas reassured him.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with another guy before and I guess—well, I know _now—_ ” 

“Dean, please. Speak plainly.”

“Fine,” Dean growls, frustrated. He takes a breath. Fuck it. “I’m in love with you, idiot.”

If Cas is surprised, he doesn’t show it. “Wow, whoever said romance is dead—”  

Dean cut off Cas’ snark with his lips, effectively silencing him. Cas grinned into their kiss, his head falling back in laughter when Dean nipped at his neck. Dean was giddy and he huffed a laugh into Cas’ skin. “Love you so much, tonight, Cas.”

“Just tonight?” Cas’ eyes sparkled when he looked at Dean.

“Mmm, every night,” Dean kissed him. “Every night for the last six years, pretty sure.”

“And then,” Cas asked, his eyes dark.

“And then every night,” Dean stared back, his heart open. “For as long as we both shall live.”

They always talk like that, unspoken promises exchanged, knowing the follow-through will eventually come. They are not scared of devotion. The only thing that bothers Dean is not being able to share this with Sam. He’s pretty sure he won’t give a damn but then, he thinks of how long it’s been, how long Dean’s been keeping this secret because that’s what they are—a secret.

Dean’s tired of it, if he’s being honest.

Part of him is willing to endure Sam’s wrath because he knows Sam won’t hold a grudge: not when it comes to Cas and especially not against Dean. The other part, the part that makes him pumps the breaks every time, is not knowing if it’s what Cas wants too. God, Dean’s no fool but this is different—this is _out._ Dean knows Cas loves him but is hiding their relationship and sneaking around half the fun for him? If they take it away, will Cas lose interest?

Dean has no idea because sneaking around is all they’ve ever known.

Dean thinks it doesn’t matter because he can’t lose Cas. His sunshine. The man he would give it all up for, if Cas ever asked him to.

Nope, Dean will keep their secret as long as Cas wants.

Dean is pulled from his thoughts when Cas comes to a stop, opening the door to a houseboat and pulling Dean inside. Cas has him pressed against the door before Dean even hears it click shut.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel doesn’t turn on the lights. He throws his keys to the hardwood floor and they skitter across the room. Dean chuckles and Castiel cuts his laugh off with a hard kiss. “I’ve missed you, Dean,” he pants as his hands slide under Dean’s shirt and up his sides. He flutters his fingers over Dean’s skin and feels goosebumps break out under his touch. 

“Missed this gorgeous body,” he sucks on Dean’s bottom lip. “Missed how good you taste,” he says as he rolls his hips. “Missed how good you feel, my love.” 

Dean’s moans crash through Castiel’s chest and he wants to take the man apart. He wants to turn Dean inside out and Castiel wants nothing more than to be the person who gets to put Dean back together again. 

Castiel’s hands brush along the waist of Dean’s pants and his mouth actually waters. He lets one finger slip under the band and he can feel the lace he knows is hiding there. Dean smirks into his mouth. 

He thinks this is funny; Dean’s amused by Castiel thinking about him in panties all night and that just won’t do. 

Castiel pulls away, puts his fingertips on Dean’s mouth as it chases his. “You decided to tease me tonight, Dean,” he takes a step back and Dean mirrors him with a step forward. “Do you still think that was a wise choice?” 

Dean shrugs and pulls open the button on his pants. A flash of black lace peaks out. Castiel’s mouth goes a little dry, and he raises an eyebrow before he takes another step back. Dean follows.  

It’s a few steps to the short hallway that houses the bathroom and bedroom. To their right is the living area facing the river, floor to ceiling windows around a set of French doors opening to the patio with an L-shaped couch and a low table filling the space. Strings of LED lights line the door reflect off the glass, giving the illusion of a larger room. 

The view was one reason Castiel chose this place. The bedroom was the second. 

A glowing light spilling out at the end of the hall beckons them. 

“Dean, I want you to go to the bedroom and wait for me. Please remove only your shoes, socks, and shirt. I will be with you in a moment.” 

“And if I don’t?” 

It is so incredibly hot when Dean is a brat. Castiel can feel his blood rushing south, his pulse racing. He takes a deep breath, releasing it slowly through his nose. 

“You will, or I won’t let you come on my cock.” 

Dean audibly swallows. 

He’s already pulling off his t-shirt as he scampers down the hall. The curve of his lower back is enticing, and it kicks Castiel into gear. He drops his facade and runs a hand through his hair to steady himself. They’ve been playing with power dynamics for a few years, each of them slipping into a more dominant role when the mood hits. They aren’t making any  _ lifestyle _ changes in the near future but they both definitely enjoy it. 

To witness Dean give up his power to Castiel was a truly life changing event, the first time it happened. They had been on one of their trips, this one to Paris where they stumbled upon an installation about The Art of Dominance and part of Castiel still wonders if that was as much of an accident as Dean claimed it was.

When they got back to their room that night, Dean slid Castiel’s hand up and around his neck and looked at him with darkened eyes and when Castiel squeezed his hand, Dean gasped, a beautiful sound, one Castiel wanted to hear forever. 

The moment was so charged, they were both lost in each other before it could go further. And that’s how they grew, down yet another path together, never doubting their trust in each other. 

Dean enjoys when Castiel takes the weight of the world from his shoulders. Castiel will only ever trust Dean to make him scream, to break him, to earn Castiel’s surrender and cherish it. Dean is the only person Castiel trusts to put him back together again. 

It has been an interesting ride. 

After locking the doors and grabbing two water bottles, Castiel rushes down the hall, halting at the doorway of his bedroom. Dean is there, standing next to the bed, his back to Castiel. A canopy of soft lights burn above him, the light glowing around him. It makes his hair look like spun gold, the slope of his shoulders catching the light. Dean stands tall, proud. Expecting. 

Castiel lets his eyes wander down, down the valley of Dean’s back to the swell of his ass, tightly held in the black leather pants that have been haunting Castiel all night. He follows the curve of Dean’s legs as he stands, barefoot, his toes flexing on the cold hardwood.

Castiel wants to write novels about the man standing in front of him. Thousand page love letters, detailing every inch of his skin, every single freckle, and explaining every facet of who he is, those fascinating parts of Dean he hides away, the things that make Castiel fall in love with him over and over again when revealed. 

He steps into the room and places the water bottles on the nightstand. Castiel steps up to Dean and ghosts his hands lightly over Dean’s shoulders, stroking down his arms. There’s enough light that he can see Dean’s muscles twitch under his touch and Castiel smiles. 

“You’re being such a good boy, Dean.” Dean’s shoulders rise as he breathes in deeply, almost like he’s absorbing his most favored endearment. “You look so beautiful, waiting so patiently for me.” 

Castiel winds their hands together for a moment, giving Dean a small squeeze. Dean grips him back and Castiel knows he can continue. He lets his hands slip to rest around Dean’s waist. His fingers toy at Dean’s open pants and Castiel allows himself to rub his fingers along the lace of Dean’s panties. 

He takes a moment to suck at the curve of Dean’s neck, pulling at the skin, willing the blood to the surface and soothing the bruise with his tongue when he’s finished. The mark glows red in the soft light of the room. 

Dean is struggling to control his breathing and stay quiet and Castiel appreciates his efforts. The lengths Dean is willing to go to please Castiel is a privilege he will never take for granted.

“Would you like permission to speak Dean? I think I might like to hear what you have to say tonight.” 

Dean turns his head to meet Castiel’s eyes and nods. His eyes are almost black with lust. Desperation. A look Castiel lives for. 

“You may.” 

Dean starts to speak and Castiel stops him with a sharp look. “You may, as long as you speak clearly. Your babbling is not cute.” 

Castiel is a liar. Making Dean forget his own name and basic English makes Castiel feel the most powerful he’s ever felt in his life. 

Dean clears his throat and pauses before he speaks. 

“I would like to kiss you.” 

Castiel licks his lips, pressing them together before he tilts his head, considering Dean’s request. Dean’s eyes flick down to his mouth and his lips part. Castiel holds Dean’s gaze for a moment, long enough for Dean to shift his weight. Castiel looks down between them, Dean with his naked feet and Castiel in his boots still. 

Enough of this.

Ignoring his request, Castiel spins Dean to face him and drops to his knees. He hooks his fingers in the belt loops of Dean’s pants and pulls, slow at first to reveal his lovely maroon panties. They look even better in person with a growing wet spot spreading slow across the satin. Castiel leans in and touches the tip of his tongue to the wetness. Dean is rock hard under him. 

He continues to pull Dean’s pants down and when Dean’s thighs are revealed, he kisses each one and runs his hands over them. They are firm under his palms. 

“Sit, please.” 

He helps guide Dean down onto the bed and Dean watches Castiel remove his pants, one leg at a time, bending Dean’s leg so he can kiss Dean’s ankles and the curve of his foot. Castiel takes his time, moving up with heavy hands, kneading and squeezing Dean’s feet, up to his calves, and when he arrives back at Dean’s thighs, he slides his hands higher, spreading Dean’s legs open. He shuffles closer and takes Dean in. 

Dean’s hands are twitching at his sides; he’s trying hard to still them, Castiel knows. The wet spot on his panties is growing with each slide of Castiel’s eyes and he uses his thumbs to rub along the lace at the crease of Dean’s thighs. 

Castiel lets his hands rub higher still, around Dean’s erection, stroking slow but firm. Castiel leans in and runs his tongue above the black lace, making Dean’s stomach muscles jump. He’s delicious. 

“Cas,” Dean whines and reminds Castiel of his objective. He strokes Dean harder over the satin. 

“You may not come, Dean. Not in your pretty panties.” 

“M’gonna, Cas, fuck—” 

Castiel stills his hand and squeezes gently. “I’ll be the only one to make a mess of these tonight, Dean.” He lifts his head to look Dean in the eye. “You will come in my mouth but not until I say you can.” He runs one finger up Dean’s length and the satin darkens as Dean reacts. “Do you understand, Dean?” 

“I—I do—Cas, please.” Castiel can hear Dean’s need. It makes him hard. For Dean to want Castiel so much—it’s intoxicating.  

He flattens his tongue and licks long, wet stripes up the length of Dean’s cock, the satin dragging under his touch. Dean squirms and Castiel stills him with a squeeze of his thighs. Dean slips a hand in his hair as Castiel continues his onslaught. He’s relentless until Dean’s fingers tighten as he pulls at Castiel’s locks. Castiel pulls away and stares at the shape of Dean’s hard cock wrapped in wet satin. 

Dean whines at the lost contact, something loud and desperate and it makes Castiel lose his breath. He peppers open mouth kisses along Dean’s thighs as he lets him recover, all the while nipping at his warm skin. 

“Cas…  _ please, _ ” Dean whines. So impatient. 

Castiel massages Dean’s balls over his panties, rolling them, tugging and squeezing like he knows Dean loves. Dean’s moans are becoming erratic and Cas knows he’s walking a fine line between Dean’s obedience and complete loss of control. And since he wants to swallow Dean down tonight, he decides to take pity on the man under him. 

Castiel hooks his fingers under the satin and lace and peels Dean’s panties down, licking his lips at the sight of Dean’s beautiful, glistening cock. It’s weeping, his head full and pink and begging to be sucked. 

Castiel’s mouth waters. 

He tucks Dean’s panties down and takes him into his mouth. The saltiness of his pre-come coats Castiel’s tongue and fuck, he’s missed this. He tries to show Dean just how much with his enthusiasm. Dean thrusts lightly into his mouth and Castiel wants more. He pulls off Dean’s dick with a filthy slurp. 

“Dean,” Castiel pants. “You’re going to fuck my mouth and I want to hear how much you like it.” Dean’s lust blown eyes widen. “Do  _ not _ hold back, Dean.” 

Dean gives him the smallest of nods before Castiel wraps his mouth around him again. He lets Castiel find a rhythm, waits for him to wrap his arms around his thighs before Dean slides both hands into Castiel’s hair and holds him down. Dean starts slow, rolling his hips as Castiel grows comfortable with the stretch of his lips and the pressure in his jaw. Each push lets Castiel take Dean deeper down his throat until his nose brushes against the light hair at the base of Dean’s dick. Castiel relaxes his throat and tears burn at the corner of his eyes as he tries to control his gag reflex. 

Dean wipes Castiel’s cheek as a tear slips out. “God, you’re so beautiful sweetheart.” 

Castiel moans at the endearment and he knows Dean can feel the vibrations all the way up his shaft because he grunts and starts to move, the time for softness over. 

Dean's hands tighten, using his grip as leverage as he fucks into Castiel’s mouth. Castiel knows Dean is getting close, his pace stuttering, his grip becoming impossibly tight in Castiel’s hair. It feels incredible. 

Dean is chanting Castiel’s name, filling the room with the sound of his pleasure and Castiel squeezes his thighs, closing his eyes as Dean pushes his head down and comes down his throat. Castiel is a bundle of sensation, every one his nerves screaming in a heightened sense of bliss. Losing himself to Dean is better than any high he could hope to achieve. 

Castiel pulls off of Dean and smiles as he works the strain from his jaw because Dean is laid back on the bed, an arm thrown over his eyes, his chest heaving. He’s still semi-hard when Castiel slips his panties off. Castiel waits until Dean looks at him before balling up the panties and shoving them into his pocket. Dean glares at him as Castiel strips, tugging on his own cock a few times to take the edge off. 

Now that Dean is naked, Castiel lifts him higher onto the bed, flipping him over and spreading Dean’s legs. Dean groans and burrows his face into the twisted sheets. If he thought Castiel was done with him, he was sorely mistaken. 

He moves like putty under Castiel’s hands, lets himself be manhandled and it’s gorgeous. Castiel spreads Dean’s cheeks apart, appreciating the tight, pink pucker, slick with Castiel’s spit. Castiel loves every inch of the body spread out below him so he shows Dean, settling down between his legs to open him up, prep him for the moment Castiel is anticipating, when he’ll have the pleasure of sinking into Dean and bringing their bodies together in a beautiful dance all their own. 

Dean cries out when Castiel licks him open, his hands splaying in the white sheets as he shakes and moans. Castiel takes his time, again bringing Dean to the edge before pulling him back, tempting and teasing until he knows Dean can’t take it anymore. 

He’s three fingers deep when Castiel decides Dean is ready. He stills his hand but doesn’t pull out, instead stroking Dean from the inside while he slicks himself up with lube he pulls from the nightstand. 

“Dean,” Castiel pauses to take in Dean’s harsh breaths. “I’m going to fuck you now.” 

Dean’s lost all figure of speech at this point and just moans and spreads his legs even further, presenting himself to Castiel. 

He’s an exquisite gift. Castiel wants to keep him. 

Castiel sees stars, fireworks—paradise, when he slides into Dean, their slick bodies matching up perfectly. Dean keens and goes willingly when Castiel pulls him up to his knees by his hips. Castiel thrusts into him with sharp, quick movements. Dean pants and looks at Castiel over his shoulder, his eyes wild and black. His lips are swollen where he’s been biting them and Castiel has never seen anything as stunning as Dean in this moment. 

Dean keeps their eyes locked and Castiel can’t take it. He reaches around Dean and takes him in his lube slicked hand, never breaking eye contact. A few slides of his hand and a twist around the head of Dean’s cock has it pulsing in Castiel’s hand as Dean comes again. Castiel pulls every last drop from Dean’s cock before Dean loses the ability to hold his own weight. He pulls Dean into his arms and pounds into him, once, twice, three times before Castiel is coming too, Dean’s name on his lips. 

They’re both boneless when they collapse in a tangle of limbs. Dean groans when Castiel rolls off the bed to fetch a warm washcloth from the bathroom. He drops kisses along Dean’s body as he wipes him clean, Dean humming contentedly below him. Castiel helps Dean up to their pillows, pulls him upright to drink some of the water Castiel brought in, encouraging him to drink at least half of the bottle. Dean obeys and sighs deeply when Castiel situates them into the soft blankets and pillows covering the bed. Morning will come quickly and together, they slip into sleep, forever comforted being wrapped around each other. 

 

><><

 

Dean wakes early. He always has, finding the silence of the morning a comfort to his racing brain. Dean always has a lot going on, ever since he decided music was his dream. He’s worked his ass off, always wanting to be the best and working towards it. Now, his fame grows increasingly every year and every year, he has to adjust his expectations for his life. 

When he was younger, the thrill of being worshipped was fun, exciting. But the bigger the band gets, the more he cherishes his privacy. Whenever he can run off with Cas, he has to make sure security is in place, their privacy becoming the number one concern. 

Dean stares up at the ceiling, the hanging lights arranged over the bed sweeping over them. Cas has an arm slung over Dean’s waist and he’s snoring softly, his eyelashes resting on his cheeks. Dean traces his eyes over Cas’ face, appreciating every line and curve, taking in his pink lips, still a little swollen from the night before and his forehead smooth, the usual lines there softened by sleep. 

He’s gorgeous. Dean knows he’s a lucky man. 

It pains him to slip out of Cas’ grasp but he does and before he leaves the room, he kisses the tips of Cas’ fingers. At the doorway, he gives one more glance towards the bed and lets his eyes roam up the stretch of Cas’ back, his skin glowing against the dark sheets in the morning light. 

Dean smiles to himself as he heads down the small hallway back to the kitchen. The place has one of those one cup coffee makers so he starts a cup for himself before he looks around. He didn’t see the houseboat when they arrived so he takes it now. 

The kitchen blends into the living room, connected by a table against the wall with two chairs. A desk sits across from a small couch full of pillows, a woven rug between them. Cas has books stacked on numerous surfaces; his usual amount when he’s researching. He uses the internet extensively, of course he does, but he also loves to read books that came first, respecting the work laid down before him that he could only hope to live up to. It’s something they’ve discussed at length and Dean admires Cas’ process. 

Cas really outdid himself, Dean thinking it might be one of the most unusual places they’ve ever stayed. He can see himself here for the next few weeks, Cas working at the desk and him on the couch, or out on the deck that faces the river. It’s where he goes now after he grabs his coffee and notebook from his duffle. He also gets dressed, commando under a pair of linen pants he has in his bag. Dean grabs a blanket from the couch and settles outside to watch the sunrise. 

He’s chewing on the end of his pen and staring out over the East River when Cas shuffles over to his side. Dean looks up at him and smiles. Cas’ hair is disheveled, sticking up every which way and not being helped by Cas scratching the top of his head. 

“Good morning, Dean,” he yawns. Cas wears a robe shut tight, his feet bare. Dean grips his wrist and pulls the sleepy man towards him. 

“Morning, sunshine. Sleep ok?” 

Cas joins him, curling up to Dean’s side and nosing at his neck. His stubble rubs against Dean’s collarbones and his dick gives an interested twitch. 

Cas hums out an affirmative and scoots even closer to Dean, kissing up his neck to nibble on his ear. Dean wraps an arm around him and rubs circles into his back. Cas’ lips drift over to Dean’s mouth and he kisses him soft, slow, tracing his tongue along the seam of Dean’s lips. Dean opens his mouth willingly, loving the push of Cas’ tongue against his. Dean can taste the mint of Cas’ toothpaste and he tightens his hold, tilting his head to deepen their kiss. 

They kiss, and they kiss, and they kiss. Dean gets lost in it, takes as much as he can because he knows it’s only a matter of time before they’ll have to go their separate ways. Dean’s sick of it but this is their life and so he endures. He lets himself wonder what it might be like if they didn’t have to. 

Cas seems to pick up on Dean’s slipping mood, pulling back and taking Dean’s notebook away, putting it behind them on the table. A light breeze makes the pages flutter but Dean barely notices, too captivated by Cas to care. Dean lays back, his eyes trained on Cas when Cas stands, pulls the blanket back and licks his lips in appreciation at Dean’s erection straining against his pants. Cas says nothing when he leans in and tugs on the drawstring, the waistband of Dean’s pants loosening. 

Dean reaches up and pulls at the sash of Cas’ robe, watching in fascination as it falls open, revealing a very naked Cas underneath. Dean takes his time appreciating Cas and Cas lets him. One corner of his robe slips off Cas’ shoulder and Dean’s mouth goes dry. Cas’ body is amazing, his traps thick and begging to be bitten, his clavicle standing out against the muscles of his chest. His nipples are hard and dusky and Dean thinks about having them in his mouth. A smattering of hair covers his pecs and trails down the center of his chest, trailing further and further down. Dean is distracted by Cas’ hips and the perfect vee where they meet in the middle. 

Cas’ beautiful cock bobs in the morning light, the tip glistening. Dean leans up to taste and Cas takes it in his hand, steadying himself so Dean can lick at his slit, tasting the pre-come gathering there. Dean’s lips wrap around the head and he rolls his tongue and sucks, eliciting a sharp gasp from Cas. Dean slips off and kisses the tip, looking up at Cas through his lashes. Cas gazes back, his eyes hooded as he rubs his dick against Dean’s lips, slowing jacking himself as he watches Dean. 

Dean’s cursing himself for not bringing any lube outside with him when Cas seems to snap out of his reverie, his eyes filling with determination. He barely has time to react before Cas is straddling him, flicking the robe back so it’s over them and not under them, Dean having full access to Cas’ naked body on top of him. Dean wraps his arms around Cas and pulls him down, his hands slipping over Cas’ firm ass now spread out on top of him. He kneads the globes of Cas’ ass and Cas breaks his silence, groaning in response to Dean’s touch. 

Cas pulls himself up for a moment to yank Dean’s pants down; Dean wiggles and lifts his hips to speed up the process. They get halfway down his thighs before they both give up, too intent on what they’re doing. Cas takes charge, pulling one of Dean’s hands up to his mouth to suck on his fingers while he takes the other one around to his ass, guiding Dean’s hand further and further back. He feels a slickness and follows it on his own now, Cas taking his hand away to allow Dean to explore. 

Dean’s thrilled with what he finds. 

His fingers slip inside Cas easily, one, two, and to Dean’s great surprise, three. Cas has his head thrown back, a small smile plays at his lips. 

“How long have you been up,” Dean accuses roughly. 

Cas cracks a smile and strokes his dick with a throaty laugh. “Long enough to be ready to ride you.” His voice is still deepened by sleep and Dean needs to be inside him  _ now _ . He situates his body and pulls his fingers free from Cas before he grips his dick and guides Cas down by the hip to seat himself. Cas settles in his lap, his weight pleasant on top of Dean. He curls down to capture Dean’s mouth with his and begins to move. Cas starts with a slow roll, grinding down, his thighs tight around Dean. His cock slides against Dean, pre-come smearing all over his stomach. 

Cas breaks their kiss and drags his mouth across Dean’s cheek to whisper in his ear, “I thought about this while I prepared myself after you left the bed this morning. I pretended it was your fingers opening me up.” 

“I could have helped,” Dean growls out.

No,” Cas answers, his voice breathy. “This is better, you’re already inside me and now I’m going to fuck you so hard, you’ll be thinking about me tonight on stage.” 

Dean always thinks of Cas when he’s on stage but he’ll never turn down another reminder. 

“Oh yeah?” Dean pulls Cas closer as he bites into the meat of Cas’ shoulders. “Show me, Cas. Fuck, want you to show me.” 

Cas’ grin is wicked when he rocks up on his knees, sliding almost completely off Dean before he grinds back down. He continues his onslaught, bouncing on Dean’s dick like it’s what he was born to do, smoothly, fluidly, unabashed in his exhibition. 

It’s breathtaking. 

Cas has a hand pinning him down as he moves and Dean just holds on tight, gripping Cas’ hips. Cas’ head is thrown back, his bottom lip clamped between his teeth and fuck—how can Dean live without this? 

Dean knows when Cas is going to come by the stutter of his hips, the smaller bounce and grind against him. Dean needs this as much as Cas and he plants his feet and slides his hands up to grip Cas by the shoulders so he can fuck up into his tight heat. He wants to make Cas fall apart, and he thrusts into him so  _ he _ can feel Dean for the rest of the day too. 

Cas lets himself go, lets Dean manipulate him, lets Dean wrap his hands around his cock and jerk him to completion. He comes between them with a cry and Dean follows, feeling Cas clench around him. 

Cas settles himself on top of Dean, tucking himself into the crook of Dean’s neck to catch his breath. Dean covers Cas’ back with his hands and rubs circles into his skin. Cas isn’t idle long, sitting up and stretching his hands above his head. 

Dean appreciates the view and slides his hands up Cas’ chest to brush his fingers against Cas’ nipples. Cas hums and grins before he drops down to kiss Dean one more time before he stands. Another stretch and a satisfied groan follow; Dean cursing the now offending robe blocking his view. 

“I’ll be back with coffee.” 

And he’s gone as quick as he came. Dean smirks at his own cleverness. 

He cleans himself up with his pants, tossing them to the floor. Dean settles in the corner of the couch and covers his lap with the blanket before he reaches for his notebook. Cas is back before he can get more than two lines written, fresh cups of coffee in both hands, robe now sadly tied shut. 

Dean holds both mugs as Cas gets comfortable at his side, his legs stretched along the other side of the couch. He can lie against Dean’s shoulder and he presses a kiss to Dean’s temple once he’s set. 

“Working on a song?” Cas sips his coffee and peers at the notebook. Dean brings it closer so he can read it. 

“Sam wants us back in the studio.” He taps his pen against the page. “I’ve got seven songs pretty much done but this is the first one that feels like it might be a single.” 

“What’s it about?”

Dean swallows. “Finding salvation. Holding onto it regardless of your circumstances.” 

Cas is still beside him.

“It’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about.” Dean clears his throat. “Some of it started falling into place this morning.” 

“Dean.” 

He closes his eyes for a moment before turning to Cas. Serious blue eyes stare back at him, curious. But patient. 

Always patient.

“Do you ever think about telling Sam? About us, I mean. Would that take the fun out of this for uh, for you?” Dean ducks his head, the same old worry in the back of his mind. If Cas says it would, Dean can play it off, act like that’s what he was thinking too, let everything go back to the way it was. Easy. 

Cas’ brow furrows, and he tilts his head like he has to work out Dean’s questions. Dean holds his breath. 

“Do you think I’m doing this for the thrill of keeping it a secret?” Cas asks him slowly, like he’s still having trouble working it out. 

“I don’t know? I mean, it is fun sometimes, to sneak around,” Dean trails off as the crease between Cas’ brows gets deeper the further Dean sticks his foot in his mouth. 

“Yes, I suppose that’s true. But that’s not why I’m with you, Dean,” Cas replies carefully. “Will you please tell me what’s on your mind?” 

God, Cas doesn’t let him get away with anything. Dean sighs. 

“Just something Dorothy said last night.” 

“I noticed she was in an exceptionally cheeky mood.” Cas hums thoughtfully. “Usually that’s Charlie’s job.” 

Dean nods, still distracted. 

“I wouldn’t be opposed, you know,” Cas says casually, sipping his coffee. 

Dean turns towards him in a flash. “What?” 

“I assume you’re alluding to her comment about us being an old married couple, correct?” 

Dean nods again, not believing what he’s hearing. 

“I’m saying, I wouldn’t be opposed.” He takes another drink. “To getting married.” 

Dean blinks, a slow smile growing on his face. Cas would marry him? Cas would marry him. Holy shit. 

“You’re serious, Cas?” 

Cas’ smile mirrors his when he nods.

“Well then, let’s do it. Let’s get married!” Dean wonders if they can find a judge in the next few hours. 

Cas sits straighter, scooting closer to Dean. He laces their hands together and kisses the back of Dean’s, mirth in his voice. “Is this your way of sweeping me off my feet?”

Dean huffs out a laugh. “Shut up, you know I’d give you the world if I could.” Dean kisses the tip of his nose. “Besides, when have  _ we _ ever followed the rules when it comes to our relationship?” 

“True.” Cas pecks Dean’s lips. “We’re making this up as we go.” 

“Damn straight, babe.” Dean grabs Cas—his fiance, hot damn—by the back of the neck and pulls them together. They’re both laughing, both giddier than they were expecting at the turn in their conversation. 

Cas pulls back and pushes Dean’s hair off his forehead. “I don’t want the world Dean, only you.” He’s serious now. “Forever.” 

Dean’s heart pounds in his chest. He’s so in love with Cas, his sunshine. His salvation. 

“Love you so fucking much today, sweetheart. Will you please do me the honor and make an honest man out of me?” A little tradition never hurt anyone. Dean holds his breath, knowing but still anticipating the actual words he’s longed to hear. 

“The honor would be all mine, my love.” Cas’ eyes are brimming with tears when he leans in to seal his promise with a kiss. A lot of kisses actually, but who the hell’s counting? 

Dean can’t help but bounce his shoulders in happiness and Cas laughs into his mouth. His smile is wide and bright and Dean can’t wait to marry him. 

“So, we doing this then?” Dean just wants to hear it one more time. 

Cas grins like he knows the reason. He probably does. 

“Let’s get married.” 


	4. Chapter 4

Their first decision as an engaged couple is to tell Sam tomorrow. Dean has his last show tonight and then Sam will have all the time in the world to kill them both. In the back of his mind, Castiel always thought Sam knew about them and just kind of let them do their thing but according to Dean, he’s clueless.

Sometimes Castiel thinks Dean underestimates his brother. Sam is one of the smartest people Castiel knows, aside from Dean, and he tells him as much as they go back inside to go over their schedules. 

“I know that Cas, but honestly, if he knew about us, don’t you think he’d take advantage and use it against us?” 

“To gain what exactly, Dean?” Castiel snags his tablet from his desk and brings it to the kitchen with him. When he planned his stay in New York, he accounted for the possibility that Dean would have time off after the tour but he never factored in any time to get married. 

Married. He’s going to marry Dean. Dean wants to call Castiel his husband. How the hell did today just turn into the best day of Castiel’s life? He never expected this sudden turn of events and his mind races with everything they need to get done. He has one eye on his tablet while he googles marriage licenses and the other on the eggs he’s cracking into a bowl. 

“Oh you know, he’d love to fuck with us, use his power for evil and get you to make me do things he knows I wouldn’t normally do. He’s a mastermind, Cas.” 

Castiel hums. “You mean like that time you did that charity run in San Diego and almost passed out before you reached the finish line?” 

“ _ You _ asked me to do that for  _ your  _ favorite charity.” Dean looks stricken, a twinkle in his eye. 

“Why do you think I was encouraging you to train so much? But you refused to go out running with me so really, your lack of physical prowess is your own fault.” 

“So, Sam—”  

“Sam thought it would be good PR. I encouraged you for purely selfish reasons.” 

Dean gasps. “Those little running shorts.” 

Castiel bursts out laughing. Dean’s ass looked great in those shorts. 

“Don’t objectify me,” Dean presses a hand to his chest in mock offense. “I changed my mind, you don’t get to marry me anymore.” 

Castiel slides up next to him and presses the bowl of eggs into his hands. “Shut up and make us some eggs,  _ husband. _ ” 

Dean groans and takes the bowl, pausing to kiss Castiel hard enough he feels it in his toes. “Say it again, Cas.” 

“My  _ husband _ , _ ”  _ he drops his voice to a low growl, something he knows Dean likes. “You’re going to be my husband, Dean.” 

The smile on Dean’s face could light the entire Eastern Seaboard. 

Castiel smacks Dean’s ass, now covered by the blanket wrapped around his hips. He considers tugging it off for a moment but a quick glance at the clock tells him they don’t have enough time for all the things he’d like to do to celebrate their engagement. 

They’re engaged. 

Castiel feels like the luckiest man alive. 

He pulls up both their schedules while Dean cooks. Dean has two interviews this morning and Castiel has a meeting scheduled with his publisher. After that, he will meet Dean back at the suite where they’ll have dinner before the band meets. Castiel goes over their plans and asks Dean what happened to his post tour schedule. It had been on the calendar the day before. 

“Had Sammy clear it for me. Told him to go take Jess up to the lake house and leave me alone for a few weeks so I could hang with you.” Dean gives him a cheeky grin over his shoulder. “How quick can we plan a honeymoon?” 

God, they’re really doing this. 

Dean’s almost late for his first interview because, despite their plan to shower together in the interest of time, he took his time blowing Castiel against the shower wall. Castiel can’t stop smiling and he walks around the city like he owns it, grinning at strangers and practically floating as he goes about his day. He can’t keep his hands to himself when he finally gets back to Dean, constantly running his hands through his hair and stroking his hands, his arms, any bit of Dean he can reach. 

Dean bans him from his shower but kisses away his pout and drops his precious drawstring bag into Castiel’s lap before he leaves him sitting on the bed. Castiel takes his time picking out the perfect panties for Dean to wear, a pair of high cut, black lace briefs. When he helps Dean into them after his shower, they’re almost late to dinner. 

Castiel joins Dorothy and Andrea when they head over to the arena, both teasing him about the permanent grin stretched across his face. He wants to tell them their good news, but he knows they have to tell Sam first so he keeps his mouth shut and just laughs off their inquiries. 

Every show the band puts on is a good one, but the second night of their shows is usually reserved for their older stuff, covers, things Dean and the band want to try out. They take more liberties on the second night, knowing it’s the second show their die-hard fans attend, just for the more relaxed atmosphere. 

Castiel doesn’t know if it’s because of that or because of their new relationship status but Dean is on fire tonight. His energy is through the roof and the crowd is eating it up. Even Sam is impressed, commenting on it to Castiel halfway through the show. 

“What’s up with Dean tonight? He’s killing it up there!” Sam’s enthusiasm is addicting. 

Castiel shakes his head with a grin. “Probably excited for some time off!” he yells over back over the sound of the crowd. Sam bobs his head in agreement. 

“They'll do two encores and then head back!” Sam makes a circling gesture with his hands. “Gotta go make some calls, see you later?”

Oh yes, Castiel will see Sam later. He swallows and waves the other man away. 

The band finishes their last song, Dean flashing him a wink before running off the stage. Castiel settles in for the first encore, pulling out his phone to browse, going back to the jeweler’s website that specializes in rings inlaid with pieces of meteorite, a design he’s been looking at for the last few months. 

A loud squeal in his ear stops his swiping, Dorothy tugging on his arm. 

“Since when do you squeal?” he grunts at her. 

“Since you started shopping for wedding bands! Wedding bands, Castiel!” she shakes his arm. “You guys really gonna take the plunge?”

He takes a quick glance around and pulls her towards him. Castiel knows she won’t let up now that she’s seen his phone. “Please keep this to yourself, we haven't told Sam.” 

She replies with an indignant squawk and before Castiel can shush her, the arena falls quiet. 

A single spotlight illuminates the stage, Dean in the middle of its beam, his acoustic guitar in his hands as he sits on a barstool, one foot on the ground and another propped on a rung. 

He strums his guitar, the same guitar Castiel had made for him when they were last in Cabo, hand crafted by a local artist for Dean's hands alone. It sounds beautiful tonight. 

Dean clears his throat.

“Just want to thank y'all for comin’ out tonight. This is the best damn crowd we've seen in a while.” His eyes flick to Castiel and he laughs shyly into the microphone. “You know, if you'd told me when I woke up this morning that I'd be having the happiest day of my life, I would  _ not  _ have believed you. But it's true.” He clears his throat again and looks down at the guitar. “So, this one's special. To say thank you, for giving me something I've wanted for a very long time. ”

Dean’s words make Castiel’s heart soar. 

He starts to sing. 

_ Whenever I'm alone, with you. You make me feel like I am home again.  _

Castiel hears Dorothy gasp beside him and he does little to hide his surprise as well. 

_ Whenever I'm alone, with you. You make me feel like I am whole again.  _

Dean has slowed the classic Cure song to a crawl. Each strum of his guitar is purposeful, exposed, and raw in its sound. It rips through Castiel and judging by the silence of the arena, the energy has reached even the furthest corners. 

_ Whenever I'm alone, with you. You make me feel like I am young again.  _

Dean cracks a small smile at that line and Castiel feels like his heart is going to burst. Dean often compliments Cas about keeping him young, on his toes constantly. Castiel can thank the class he took on multiple orgasms for that one. 

_ Whenever I'm alone, with you. You make me feel like I am fun again.  _

Each word melts into Castiel skin, every crack of Dean's haunting voice fulfilling every desire Castiel never knew he had. 

_ However far away, I will always love you.  _

_ However long I stay, I will always love you.  _

_ Whatever words I say, I will always love you.  _

These lyrics mean the most to Castiel, words carrying a promise that regardless of how many miles separate them, Dean will always love him. 

And Castiel will return that love with every breath he takes. 

Dean's voice slinks down Castiel’s spine, dripping thick like honey. He loves him, he loves him, he loves him. 

_ I will always love you.  _

The crowd erupts after the last note fades away. The band’s never seen a reaction like this, charged with so much energy. Everyone enjoys the final encore and Castiel happily lets Dorothy drag him to their town cars, smiling when he sees Dean's Range Rover waiting for him. 

He has a drink with the families before he sneaks away to Dean’s room after Dean sent a text asking Castiel to meet him there. Dorothy gives him a knowing wink as he excuses himself that Castiel can’t help but blush at. He passes Sam and the rest of the band in the hallway.

“Hey, Cas!” Sam walks backwards to talk to him. “Party’s this way!” 

“Dean called me up, wants to show me something,” Castiel calls back. “I’ll make sure we’re down for a toast in a few!” 

At the end of every tour, the band and the families get together on the last night for toasts and a lot of shots. Castiel prays Dean’s already called room service because—it’s a lot of shots. 

His fiance is a genius because Castiel smells cheese and toasted bread and his mouth waters as he enters Dean’s suite. 

“Cas?” Dean calls from the bathroom.

“It’s me,” he replies as he crams a triangle of grilled cheese in his mouth. 

“Did you see Sam?” 

He swallows his bite. “Yup, he’s expecting us.” Castiel eats a few french fries too. He stands next to the floor to ceiling window and enjoys the city stretching out in front of him. Castiel loves New York City from up here. 

Warm hands slide around his middle as Dean hooks his chin over Castiel’s shoulder. “Heya, sunshine.” 

Castiel smiles and leans back into Dean’s embrace. “Hello, Dean.” He turns in his arms, uninterested in standing here without kissing Dean. Castiel reaches his arms up and around Dean’s neck, pulling him in, tilting Dean’s head with his hands to kiss him deeply. Dean melts in his arms and it feels like coming home. 

Dean pulls back to stare into Castiel’s face, his cheeks flushed and his lips pink. “Hey, remember this morning? When you said you’d marry me?”

Castiel laughs softly. “Yes, I believe I recall that happening. Is that why you called me up here?” 

“Maybe,” Dean brushes their lips together. He reaches into the pocket of the black cotton pants he’s wearing. “And maybe it was because I wanted to give you this.” 

Dean holds something in his hand and Castiel gasps when Dean opens it. In his palm is a dark silver ring with a line of blue green stone running down the middle. It’s exquisite. 

Castiel is in complete shock when Dean drops to one knee. 

“Cas, today has been the greatest day of my life and I want you to know,” Dean looks up at him almost shyly. After thirteen years together, Dean is nervous. And holding a ring. “I was serious, when I thanked you, on stage? This is something I’ve wanted for a long time.” 

Castiel feels his chest flood with love and happiness and every single good feeling Dean has ever made him feel. He drops to his knees and cups Dean’s face in his hands before he’s kissing him. Dean won’t stop smiling and he kisses Castiel back with enthusiasm. 

“I want to be your husband, Mr. Novak.” 

“I want to be  _ your _ husband, Mr. Winchester.” 

Dean holds the ring between his thumb and pointer finger. “The stone is opal, it reminded me of your eyes.” He turns his hand as they both stare at the lovely ring. “I saw it in a little shop the last time we were in Oahu.” 

Castiel looks up at him sharply. “That was two years ago, Dean.” Two years. 

“Wanted you to be ready, sunshine.” 

“Oh, Dean,” Castiel sighs. “We’ve wasted a lot of time not talking about this.” Dean nods his head in agreement. He looks back down at the ring. 

“Wanna try it on?” 

Castiel  _ does _ , so much. He holds his left hand out and feels a thrill run up his hand when Dean slides the ring on. It’s a perfect fit and looks beautiful on Castiel’s finger. Dean brings Castiel’s hand up to his mouth and kisses over the ring. 

“Perfect,” Dean comments, trying to sound casual. Castiel hears the waiver in his voice.

“I agree,” Castiel says softly, his eyes on Dean. He tips Dean’s chip up and kisses him chastely. “I would have said yes, no matter when you asked.” Dean’s eyes soften. “I would have said yes, Dean.” 

When Dean kisses him, Castiel is lost. They spend so long, both their phones are buzzing in their pockets, messages urging them in no polite terms, to join the party down the hall. They help each other off the floor and stand still, enjoying the silence and the enormity of their day for just another moment, both hesitant to break the spell. 

Their phones buzzing again does it. Castiel isn't happy, but he takes off his ring and holds it out to Dean. “After tonight, I'm never taking that off.” 

Dean grins and steps back into the bathroom where Castiel presumes the ring box is. He drapes his arm around Castiel shoulders as he leads them from the room, humming The Ronettes “Chapel of Love”, before Castiel elbows him in his ribs. Dean laughs as he pulls open the door to the other suite and lets Castiel enter first, to endure the brunt of the groans and ribbing, no doubt. 

“It’s about damn time! We thought you two ditched us!” Sam throws his arms around them. “I love you guys.”

Castiel exchanges a look with Dean and wonders how many shots Sam’s had. He leads them both to the tiny kitchen and lines up half a dozen shots. 

“Time to catch up,” Sam says as he gestures at the alcohol. 

Dean shrugs and throws his three back, Castiel following his lead. 

It’s going to be a long one. 

The party goes well into the night. They lose their third game of flip cup when Castiel surrenders, collapsing on the couch next to Charlie. She snuggles into his side and puts her head on his shoulder with a giggle. 

“Great show tonight, Char,” Castiel wraps an arm around her and kisses her red curls. He loves his band family and Charlie proves why with the next words out her mouth. 

“Heard a secret about you, Cas. Is it true?” Her eyes are shining with a mixture of tequila and pure joy. Castiel could never burst her bubble, so he gives her a grin and a quick nod. His reflexes are dulled by the alcohol because suddenly, his lap is full of excited ginger, her arms tight around him. 

“I’m so fucking happy for you!” 

Castiel blushes and before he can thank her, they both freeze at the sound of Sam’s voice.

“Cas, you got some good news?” 

Dean is crossing the room quickly but Castiel isn’t so drunk he can’t play this off. 

“I was just telling Charlie about my next project. My publisher thinks it will be very successful,” he replies smoothly. 

“Cool, man, congrats!” Sam ruffles his hair and wanders away. 

Dean looks relieved when he reaches them. Castiel widens his eyes when he looks up at Dean, knowing they both dodged a bullet. They can’t do this much longer. 

Dean leans in, “Only a few more hours, Cas. We’ll tell him before he takes off for LA tomorrow, remember?” 

Castiel nods. Their plan is good. If Sam does get mad, which Castiel truly doubts, he can be mad at them from across the country. If not, well great. Castiel hopes for the latter because they’d like Sam to be one of their witnesses before he goes back to LA, but they’ve decided to worry about that later, once they see Sam’s reaction to their news. 

Another hour passes and they’re both drunk. Castiel is leaning against the wall by the door and Dean is dangerously in his space, one arm propped on the wall above Castiel’s head. Dean’s face is pressed into Castiel’s shoulders as he laughs and Castiel thinks how badly he wants them to leave so he can— 

“Guys!” Sam stumbles up to them, a harried looking Benny on his heels. “Guys, my guys, my best friend and my best brother,” Sam giggles. He somehow gets his drunk self in between them. “I love us, I love what we’ve got going here.” He kisses them both on their cheeks with sloppy drunk smacks of his lips. “I miss Jess.” 

“All right big boy, let’s get you to bed.” Benny pulls Sam by the arm and he goes willingly until he doesn’t, spinning out of Benny’s grasp to hug Dean one more time.

“Hey, Sammy, bud, time for bed.” Dean is trying to keep a straight face and Castiel doesn’t even bother, laughing as Sam runs his hands through Dean’s hair.

“I like your hair Dean, it’s very nice but you should grow it out some.” Sam shakes his long hair in Dean’s face. “Like this.”

“Sorry, Sasquatch. There’s only room for one luxurious mane in this family.” Dean situates Sam back under Benny’s arm. “The hair product bills alone… no thanks.” 

Sam pouts but goes with Benny, shouting at the others who are leaving the suite. 

Castiel stumbles when he stands straight again, and Dean laughs as he grabs his hip. “Cas, you fuckin’ lightweight.” 

Before Castiel can retort, he’s in the air. Dean’s lifting him over his shoulder and fuck, it’s—as his beloved would say—awesome. Castiel laughs, his joy echoing off the crowded hallway as Dean makes honking noises, shouting his way down the hall. 

As he’s carried, he watches them walk away from a bewildered Sam, who’s waving his arms in the air. “Come on guys, nights young!” 

“Go call your wife!” Dean yells over his shoulder. He smacks Castiel’s ass and mutters, “Because I’m gonna go fuck my husband.” 

Castiel blows a raspberry. “That’s what you think.” Dean laughs, loud and full of life as Castiel waves to Sam. “Goodnight, Sam!” 

“Come crash in my room when Dean’s snores get too loud!” 

“Bitch!”

“Jerk!”

Castiel thanks the gods that Dean is a pro with automatic door locks, because they’re inside in a flash, the door locking behind them as Dean tosses Castiel onto the bed. Castiel struggles up to his elbows, the alcohol in his system making him feel loose and warm. Dean looks amazing as he strips out of his clothes, his eyes on Castiel as Castiel kicks off his shoes and wiggles out of his pants. 

He pauses and turns towards the bathroom and Castiel frowns but his scowl is quickly replaced with a smile when Dean walks back into the bedroom, Castiel’s ring in his hand. Dean holds it up with a grin and gives Castiel a quick peck on the mouth as he slides it back onto Castiel’s left hand. 

“There,” Dean murmurs. “Right where it belongs.” 

Castiel’s heart floods with warmth, causing a lump in his throat. Dean wants to marry him.

Dean is gorgeous when he stands over Castiel at the foot of the bed, wearing only his panties. Castiel’s eyes wander up and down Dean’s gorgeous body, Dean’s hands sweeping over his stomach and to his chest. One hand brushes against his hard cock, pinned against his hips by black lace. Dean plays with one of his nipples, rubbing and pulling at the pink nub. He’s rolling his bottom lip between his teeth and it’s making Castiel feel like he’s losing his mind.

“Dean.” Castiel knows he sounds wrecked. He spreads his legs, hoping to entice his lover to join him on the bed.

Dean’s grin is cocky as he releases his bottom lip and brings his hand up to suck two fingers into his mouth. 

Castiel moans. 

“Like that, sweetheart?”

“You look so good, Dean. Please.”

“I taste even better,” Dean smiles and gives his fingers another quick suck before he moves his hand behind him and away from Castiel’s gaze. His eyes flutter shut and Castiel can only imagine Dean’s reached the place he wishes his mouth was. 

“ _ Dean. _ ” 

“Tell me what you want, Cas.”

Castiel fidgets in the sheets. “I want to see you.” He reaches for his cock with one hand and for Dean with the other. Dean acts quick, pulling his hand free before he steps over to Castiel, leaning down to grasp Castiel by his wrists, pinning them both next to Castiel’s sides, his intention clear. 

“You can watch, but no touching.” 

Castiel growls deep in his throat but complies, his eyes wide as Dean reaches for the lube on the nightstand, pouring it into his hand so he can work it over his fingers. Dean turns so Castiel can see his hand disappear behind lace as he slips it back to open himself up. Dean’s shoulders rise and fall with each breath as he moves. Castiel feels like he’s going to jump out of his skin if he doesn’t get to touch Dean soon and a whimper escapes his mouth before he can stop it. 

Dean stills and arches his back as he looks at Castiel over his shoulder. “You like that, baby? Tell me. Let me hear you, Cas.” Dean wets his lips and because permission was granted, Castiel moans as he watches Dean’s wet tongue swipe across his pink mouth. 

“I want to see you Dean, please. I want to see your fingers slipping in and out of your gorgeous body,” Castiel pants, his eyes still glued to Dean’s hand. “Please, show me.”

“You’re being so sweet, baby, asking so nice,” Dean purrs.

Heat pools in Castiel’s stomach and he has to clench the sheets in his fists hard enough to dig his fingernails in his palms to let the sharp pain distract him. His dick twitches and pulses against his stomach. Castiel’s mind races in anticipation, hoping that if Dean is going to deny him the allowance to take the edge off himself, it’s because Dean is planning to do it for him. 

It’s the only thought that keeps Castiel in line. 

Dean smiles down at him and holds Castiel’s eyes as he pulls his hand free to push his panties down over his ass. Castiel’s eyes flick back and forth; he can’t decide what he wants to look at more. Dean’s ministrations win out as he slips both hands down his back, his fingers spreading over his ass. With one hand, he holds himself open as he slides two fingers back inside with a broken moan. 

It’s breathtaking. 

Castiel watches Dean’s body swallow his fingers, and he can’t help but whine when Dean slips a third in, pulling and stretching his rim open to take Castiel’s cock. 

“How do you want me, Cas? Do you want me to ride your cock?” Dean's fingers are buried in his ass. He rolls his hips and pants into his shoulder. “Do you want to bend me over and fuck me? Do you want me wrapped around you while you fill me with that thick, beautiful dick?”

Dean is so filthy when he's in charge and it's the hottest thing Castiel’s ever experienced in his life. 

“Yes—yes, Dean, please,” Castiel begs. He wants it all. 

Dean lets out a breathy chuckle. “Greedy, Cas.” 

He pulls his hand free and turns, sliding his panties off one leg at a time. Dean holds the lace in his hands and balls it up, thoughtful about what he wants to do with it. Castiel can’t look away, he wants and Dean knows and he smirks as he brings the panties to his nose and inhales, a glint in his eyes as Castiel narrows his with a whimper. 

“If you’re good for me, Cas, you can have them,” Dean teases. Castiel’s panty kink is something Dean has always indulged, even going so far to tell Castiel how much he likes it. He loves to buy Dean lingerie and has already found him something special for their honeymoon. 

Dean tosses his panties to the side of the bed as he crawls up and straddles Castiel’s thighs. Castiel has been so mesmerized with Dean he’s forgotten how much his cock aches for the man hovering over him. Dean’s muscles ripple under his skin as he stalks up Castiel’s body, sliding his ass over Castiel’s cock, letting his hips roll and grind down. It happens so fast, it shocks Castiel’s body and he cries out against Dean’s chest as his tight heat engulfs Castiel’s cock. 

Dean looks beautiful as he lets himself adjust to the feeling of having Castiel inside him. He fidgets and takes deep breaths, exhaling them against Castiel’s neck and Castiel aches to wrap his arms around Dean to pull him closer. His thighs shake in anticipation of the moment he can plant his feet and take part in making sure Dean feels good and fucked. 

Dean spreads his thighs wider, slipping a little deeper down. He shudders and curls over to take one of Castiel’s nipples between his teeth, rolling it in time with his hips. God, can Dean move. Castiel’s eyes roll back in his head and he becomes a bundle of nerves, everything else melting away as Dean worships his body, licking, sucking, sliding, his hands everywhere, kneading Castiel’s skin, pulling his hair. 

Castiel aches, begs Dean to let him touch, to let him feel Dean’s skin under his fingertips. Dean must be just as lost as he is because he doesn’t answer yes or no, just continues to ravish Castiel’s body. 

He can’t take it anymore and his resolve breaks when another moan from Dean rumbles out of his mouth against Castiel’s ear. Castiel surges up to wrap his arms around Dean’s shoulders and waist before he rolls them, this time pinning Dean under him. Dean laughs, something melodious and joyful and he wraps his legs tightly around Castiel. Castiel hitches Dean’s hips and drives into him, sliding his arms under Dean’s to grip him by the shoulders in an attempt to gain the upper hand. 

Dean keens when Castiel fucks him, hard and fast. His hands scramble for purchase on Castiel’s back, his nails digging red hot into his skin. Dean tightens his legs, effectively stopping Castiel mid-stride. Castiel will never admit to the whine that escapes his throat. 

“Thought you were gonna be good for me, sweetheart,” Dean growls before he yanks Castiel by the hair to bite his throat. He drags his other hand down the curve of Castiel’s back and over the globe of his ass, pressing Castiel deeper. 

Castiel blames the alcohol for letting his guard down because he lets himself relax in Dean’s embrace for a moment and Dean takes advantage. A firm palm cracks against Castiel’s ass and he cries out, heat spreading through him, electricity coursing through his veins. 

“Dean,” he gasps out. “Please.”

“Oh, are we back to using our manners, Cas?” Dean spanks him again and Castiel answers with a sob. Another slap lands on the back of Castiel’s thighs. His skin tingles when Dean soothes a hand over his hot skin. Another ruse before he spanks Castiel again and then rolls his hips up, swallowing Castiel’s cock again. 

Dean leans up to tug Castiel’s earlobe between his teeth before he lets go to whisper in his ear, “now fuck me,  _ hubby _ .” 

It’s all Castiel needs before he pulls up to gather Dean in his arms and into his lap, Dean’s calves rubbing against the now sensitive skin of his ass, the pain of it making Castiel feel alive. Somehow Dean’s grabbed his discarded panties and has them wrapped around his hand. Castiel’s breath hitches as he watches Dean reach between them and wrap his fingers around his weeping erection, the head disappearing and reappearing between Dean’s fist and black lace. When Dean starts to spill into his own fist, his pearly come smearing beautifully between them and into the folds of the dark fabric, Castiel quickens his pace with a sharp breath. 

It’s erotic and when Castiel drags his eyes up Dean’s flushed chest to his face, green eyes are pinned on him, Dean’s bottom lip between his teeth. He flashes Castiel a grin followed by a wink and Castiel is done. He pulls Dean against him by his hips, coming in waves inside him. Dean buries his face in the crook of Castiel’s neck to kiss the soft skin there, murmuring words of praise and love into his collarbones. 

Castiel loves this man so much, and he’s blissed out with the idea that now, now he  _ gets _ to love him and no one will be able to tell him he can’t. They get to kiss when the mood strikes and laugh and hug and be together whenever and wherever they want to. It’s freeing. 

It’s everything Castiel’s ever wanted for them. 

He watches Dean with hooded eyes as he rolls away, but not before laying Castiel into the sheets and peppering his face and chest with the softest kisses Castiel can remember having felt. Dean fills the sink to let his panties soak and Castiel smiles, appreciating the effort to save them. They are a favorite of his, after all. Dean soaks a washcloth and wipes himself clean, eyes on Castiel in the mirror. He rinses the towel and wrings the water out before he uses it on Castiel, his hands gentle and roaming across Castiel’s now spent body. 

Castiel huffs out a laugh and trails his fingers across his chest. Dean’s throat hitches as he watches. 

“Come here, Dean,” Castiel asks, his arms reaching for his love. Dean does, his skin soft when it slides against Castiel’s. His body is like a warm blanket when he drapes it across Castiel. 

They are wrapped around each other, trading soft kisses. “It’s gonna be ok, right Cas?” Dean sounds apprehensive, he trips over his words a little and Castiel knows he’s nervous. “Sam’s gonna forgive us?” 

Castiel’s heart trips in his chest. His worries are slight, but he understands Dean’s fears. Castiel’s hardly ever known two brothers as close as Sam and Dean and when it comes to making sure Sam is happy, Dean tends to overcompensate. 

Being with Castiel is the one and only thing Dean has ever kept for himself. 

Castiel prays Sam will understand why Dean would want to protect that, living the life he does. When Sam found his happy ever after, Dean was nothing but proud and glad for him but behind closed doors, when Dean would beg Castiel to take him out of his head, the truth would spill out of Dean once he let it. 

He would cry, silent tears slipping down his face as he let himself confess of his jealousy, quickly falling privy to guilt for disparaging Sam’s happiness. Castiel would correct him with a firm hand, sometimes with a swath of leather, sometimes wrapped in silk. Always taking care of him. 

Castiel considers the logistics of rearranging the plan’s they have already made in case Sam  _ doesn’t _ react in a positive way. He doesn’t want to think of what happens then. 

He won’t until he has to.

Right now, he has a job to do. He cups Dean’s face in his hands. “In my honest opinion Dean, I think Sam is going to be very happy for us.” He presses a soft kiss to Dean’s lips. “I believe it will be ok. So much in fact,” he drags his thumb across Dean’s freckles before he continues. “So much, I already booked a flight for Jessica to join us. It leaves tomorrow afternoon.” Dean’s eyes light up in the way Castiel adores. “She can’t miss this.” 

“You’re the best, you know that? I’m so glad I get to marry you.” Dean’s lips drift over his and Castiel is so glad, too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cover of [Lovesong by Nataly Dawn](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2xJufhUMbU) is closest to the way Dean sings it in this chapter. I urge you to take a listen and let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

A knock on the door and the squeaky wheels of the service cart being brought into the sitting room wakes Dean. He hears the door click shut, and he rolls into Cas, slinging one leg over Cas’ hip and snaking his hand under Cas’ arm to pull himself closer to his fiance’s warm body. Dean drops light kisses along Cas’ jaw, murmuring his name on each breathy exhale. It’s the safest way Dean knows how to wake Cas up. Cas likes to say Dean’s a bear in the mornings before coffee but that’s a damn lie. He’s more like a… rumpled kitten. 

Cas on the other hand—not above throwing things. And now, Dean has equipped him with a weapon on one finger and suddenly, he’s thankful Cas is right-handed. The thought of him taking a swing at Dean in a sleep-induced stupor has Dean laughing into Castiel’s mouth which he’s finally overtaken. He groans when Cas pushes him away with a firm hand to the chest before striding with purpose into the sitting room, the smell of coffee no doubt guiding him. 

He gives Cas a minute. Dean knows without a doubt that Cas is pouring himself a cup of coffee and drinking it black. He’ll savor it for a minute before nodding his head and turning the second cup over to pour a cup for Dean. He’ll add two sugars and a splash of milk to both because these are the cups he’ll drink with Dean, these are the cups they’ll enjoy. Together.

It’s a routine Dean’s spent years memorizing.

Mornings with Cas are his favorites.

And not just because he knows without a doubt that his  _ betrothed  _ is doing all of this completely naked. 

Modesty has never been something Cas had any interest in and Dean hopes he never does. He gets up and wiggles into a pair of pink silk shorts, the pair that curves over the globes of his ass that Cas loves so much. Dean’s cock is already showing an interest. 

He ties his robe shut loosely and by the time he reaches Cas sitting back on the couch, the black silk has slipped off one of his shoulders. Dean remembers when Cas presented him with the box containing the robe and the shorts on his last birthday, how his breath caught in his throat when the smooth fabric slipped through his fingers. 

Dean always packed it, just in case. He’s glad he did when Cas’ eyes widen as Dean steps in front of him. 

“Mornin’ sweetheart,” Dean drawls. 

Cas pulls on the flimsy tie holding the robe shut and Dean doesn’t stop it when it slides off his other shoulder and slithers to the ground.

“Good morning, Dean,” Cas grits out. He swallows thickly and schools his features as best he can. 

Cas sips his coffee, now that he’s contained himself. Dean smirks, loves it when he can get Cas to slip, especially when he’s trying not to. 

He turns, a little slower than usual and bends to grab the mug on the table, a mug he can reach perfectly fine. This and the way he strides across the room to the food cart with a swagger in his steps is purely for Cas’ benefit. He picks up a few slices of bacon and eats them, carefully wiping his hands on the linen napkin next to the plate. 

Cas hasn't taken his eyes off him, turning on the couch to watch him walk across the room. 

Dean considers teasing Cas again in a repeat of last night's fun but changes his mind when he sees Cas, splayed out for him, one leg bent up on the couch, his hand wrapped around his cock, giving himself slow strokes as his eyes burn into Dean's skin.

Coffee forgotten, Dean crosses back to the couch and Cas straightens, seeing something in Dean’s expression that makes him sit up. Cas reaches over to set his coffee down as Dean straddles him, dropping his hips and rolling them against Cas. The groan that leaves Cas is filthy, gritty, filled with sleep still, and want. 

Cas’ arms wrap around Dean and his hands brush up and down Dean’s back and fuck, he’s so fucking in love right now, Dean doesn’t know how this could get better. And then Cas’ hands slide south, sweep against the silk a few times, until Cas fists one hand, twisting the delicate material in between his fingers as he pulls it to the side, exposing Dean’s hole. Two of Cas’ fingers press against it and Dean gasps into Cas’ neck.

“Dean,” Cas groans. “You’re still—fuck.” Cas pushes one finger against Dean and his body reacts, allows Cas to slip his finger in. “Did you—”  

Dean cuts him off with a press of his lips and a shake of his head. He waits for Cas to get there himself. 

He does with a shuddering breath. “You’re still loose,” he swallows noisily around his words. “From last night?” His finger fidgets inside Dean and Dean pushes back on it, greedy now. He digs into the cushions behind them and comes up with lube he stashed there two days ago in case such an occurrence arose, for lack of a better word. He leans back to sit on Cas’ thick thighs but he doesn’t tear his eyes from Cas’ as he flicks the bottle open and pours the slick into his hand before he wraps it around Cas’ cock. Dean looks down to see the lube dripping down Cas’ length. He licks his lips and wraps his hand around Cas, stroking him a few times. 

Cas exhales loudly and pulls his hand free of Dean and holds it between them. Dean smirks and coats Cas’ fingers in lube while Cas watches with dark eyes. 

He swallows and looks back at Dean, desperation in his eyes. “I’m sorry Dean, I’ll replace them,” Cas laments as he tugs at the silk and Dean can hear a ripping sound and fuck—that’s so hot. Dean hopes his moan lets Cas know he doesn’t mind  _ at all. _

Cas’ fingers are buried inside Dean when Dean kisses him again, a quick peck followed by a nip to Cas’ swollen bottom lip. He soothes his tongue over Cas’ pout and Cas surges forward to take Dean’s mouth. Heat fills his belly at Cas’ eagerness; he loves to be reminded how much Cas wants him, sometimes. He pushes back in appreciation, sliding his palms up Cas’ firm chest, up his neck to run his thumb across Cas’ cheek before tilting his head so Dean can fit his mouth to Cas’ and kiss him, deep and sure. 

Dean’s lost in the softness of Cas’ mouth, the heat of their tongues sliding together but his eyes fly open and he pulls back with a cry when Cas replaces his fingers with his cock in one smooth motion, taking Dean by surprise. The push and burn of Cas entering him makes the fire in his belly feel like erupting but Dean doubles down and grinds his hips into Cas, sitting heavy to give himself a second. 

Dean is full, in every sense of the word. Cas mouths at Dean’s nipples, his wicked tongue pulling Dean apart. He keeps to himself as if Dean’s arousal in his hands is everything Cas needs. 

What Dean needs is to move. 

He slides one hand in Cas’ sleep soft hair and pulls his fiance away from his chest so their eyes can meet. Cas’ blue eyes are stormy, wild with lust, and his mouth hangs open, his lips shiny. The hard metal of the ring Dean gave to Cas less than twelve hours ago digs into his hip where Cas is holding him. 

The realization that he gets this for the rest of their lives hits him and a laugh bubbles out of his chest. Cas’ lips quirk up in a smile and he’s stunning and Dean can’t think of anything else when Cas pulls him in by the back of the head and kisses him. Cas kisses with a purpose, like he’s trying to rearrange Dean by his molecules. Dean lets him. 

Dean wants him to. For a man like Cas to love a man like Dean; he’s no fool. He’s keeping this for as long as Cas wants him. 

Cas grounds Dean’s wandering thoughts with a clench of his fist in what’s left of Dean’s shorts. The friction of the silk rubbing against his rim and his dick makes Dean want to move,  _ now. _

“I’m gonna fuck you now, sweetheart,” he whispers into Cas’ ear, dropping his tone an octave or two in the way Cas loves. “Hold on.” 

Cas moans and his hips jerk up, punching a cry from Dean when Cas’ cock finds his prostate. God,  _ again.  _ He tilts his hips and moves, his hips gyrating so Cas can hit that spot over and over and soon they’re just a tangle of limbs, moans, lips, and electricity and when Dean spills between them in hot splashes, Cas pulls him closer, impossibly close so his cock is trapped between their stomachs, sliding in Dean’s release as Cas fucks up into him, responding to Dean’s cries by letting his name spill out of his mouth like an incantation. 

“Dean, Dean,  _ Dean.”  _

Dean can feel himself grow hot as Cas comes; he’s hypersensitive to the shift inside him as Cas fills him, how his body pulses to take everything it can, how Cas’ hands are splayed over his back, hot and pressing into his spine. Cas thrusts into him again and bites down on his shoulder and Dean comes again.

“Yes, Dean, oh  _ Dean,”  _ Cas’ gratitude sweeps over Dean, he can feel it in every breathy dip of Cas’  voice. “You’re beautiful, you’re perfect, Dean, so perfect for me.” 

Dean’s so far gone on Cas, on the sound of his voice and their bodies still pressed hotly together that Dean doesn’t even notice the beep of the door lock or the turn of the handle. Cas’ hands tighten on his back and his urgent, “Dean.” makes him take a little more notice. He sits up and sees Cas’ concerned face as he stares over Dean’s shoulder.

More brain functions are coming back online when Dean drops his head back lazily, the dopey grin on his face wiped clean as he realizes he’s staring into the face of his brother. His brother wearing the most epic of bitch faces—Dean knows, he’s been privy to Sam’s bitch face his entire life.

Sam’s jaw tightens as his eyes take in the scene in front of him. Dean closes his eyes and rolls his head back towards Cas. He opens them and Cas looks like he’s on the verge of a panic attack and Dean can’t have that. He leans in and kisses Cas, soft, reassuring. Hoping he can see that Dean doesn’t give a damn what happens next. 

Sam clears his throat. Angrily. Dean freezes and pulls away from Cas. 

“Sam, could you please give us a moment?” Dean asks in a measured voice. Heat flairs in Cas’ eyes and Dean purses his lips. Cas looks kind of ashamed and he shakes his head. 

Sam huffs and Dean knows he’s winding up and Dean isn’t having this conversation with his baby brother without pants on so he cuts him off with a wave of his hand. “Dude. Get the fuck out of here and come back in ten.” 

Sam’s only response is the click of the door closing and Dean sags in relief. The twitch of Cas’ cock inside him has him lifting his head to see Cas trying to school his features. 

“Really, babe?” Dean feigns annoyance because he enjoys watching Cas squirm. 

“You were so hot, just now,” Cas whines. “You kept your calm and the way you kissed me and I swear Dean, before that moment, I thought—For a second I was worried you—”  

“You thought I was gonna freak out?” Dean softens his question with a grin. “To be honest, I might have but I was just exceptionally fucked so actually, he walked in at just the right moment.”

Cas throws his head back with a laugh so lovely, Dean wants to drink it in. 

“Because you’re stoned on endorphins?” Cas is still chuckling. 

“Because I’m stoned on you, Cas. My favorite drug.” Dean leans in to kiss Cas, not caring about their time limit, just wanting to taste him one more time. 

They’re both a mess, enough so they agree on a quick rinse in the shower, Cas slapping Dean’s hands away in the interest of time. Dean laughs and teases him while they dress, keeps a constant good attitude with Cas as he pours them fresh cups of coffee, preparing one for Sam as well. That freakout Cas predicted is edging at his nerves and he’s trying really fucking hard to keep it back.

How can Sam be that mad?  _ How?  _ Part of Dean believed Cas when he told him he thought Sam knew about them but how could Cas have been so sure, now that Sam has seen them? Now that they both know Sam doesn’t approve?

“Cas?” Dean's desperate now. “Whatever happens, this is about us, okay? Me and you, now.”

Cas looks relieved when he nods back at Dean. 

Dean can feel himself spinning out when the door lock beeps again and Sam comes in, turning to close the door before Dean can get a good look at his face. He gets the read on Sam’s face he was looking for when he whirls around, his bitch face still in place. 

They both start talking at once.

“Look, Sam—”  

“I can’t believe you, Dean—”  

“Don’t be mad at Cas, ok, this is my—” 

“How could you keep this a secret? From me?” Sam glares at Dean and they both flinch when Cas takes a step forward. Dean holds his hand out, he can handle Sam, he told Cas he could handle it and Dean meant it. 

“Sam, please, we never meant to hurt you,” Cas tries to interject. 

The brothers ignore him in favor of facing off. Dean’s equal parts guilty for not telling Sam and pissed that he’s making such a big deal out of it. Sam’s glaring. Still. Dean idly wonders if his face could stick like that. Jess would be pissed. 

They start to talk over each other again. 

“You asked Cas to marry you?!”

“I’ve loved him since we were kids, man.” 

Cas whips his head between the brothers as they both register what the other said. Dean and Sam both sit heavy on the sofas behind them. 

Cas tries to stop them before they can start talking at each other again. “One at a time, please!” he begs. 

Dean’s mind is whirling, tripping over all the parts Dean expected Sam to be mad about and shuddering to a stop when he realizes he’s mad about their  _ engagement. _

Sam looks like he’s doing the same, grinding his jaw as he recounts the years. 

Cas lets out a high pitched bark of laughter as he realizes, clamping his hands over his mouth before another sound like that can escape. Dean glares at him for a brief second before he looks back at Sam.

Sam speaks first and Dean lets him. As usual. 

“You guys have been doing this since we were kids?” Sam asks, thoughtful. “I thought for sure this has only been going on for a few years. Five tops,” he shakes his head. Dean’s mouth falls open. Sam continues.

“Remember your,” he uses finger quotes, “‘Meditation and Detox Retreat’ in Thailand? Yeah, the hotel called asking if Mr. and Mr. Winchester had enjoyed their stay.” 

Dean’s face softens when he remembers that trip. They had, in fact, attended the retreat but then spent the next three weeks exploring Thailand from the back of a moped, both letting their hair grow a little long just to enjoy how it blew in the wind and how easy it was to pull on whenever the mood struck. They spent time eating food and learning the culture and holding hands as they walked down dirt paths and sandy beaches. 

Dean hated coming home from that one. 

He schools his features for Sam and squares his shoulders. “Well, I hope you told them we did Sammy because that was one of the best trips we’ve ever taken, don’t you think, Cas?” 

Cas looks like the  _ very last thing _ on this planet he wants to do is get involved but Dean  _ needs _ him and Cas always knows when that’s the case. He taps his chin and tries to look thoughtful. Dean wants to kiss him.

“Thailand was great, but I really loved Australia. That Koala rescue was amazing.” He smiles fondly at Dean and again he’s reminded that he’s found an amazing partner. 

Their attention is drawn back to Sam when he squeaks from where he’s sitting. 

“How many trips have you two been on? Know what?” Sam shakes his head. “No, I don’t want to know. I’m going to assume—” Sam takes a harsh breath.

It’s almost amusing the way Dean can see years of facts falling into place in Sam’s mind. 

“Ok, well. The ring makes a lot more sense then, I mean, I was beginning to worry—”  

“Wait, you think five years was a long time?” Dean looks at Cas in bewilderment and Cas just shakes his head. 

“— just really hoped you’d come to me when the time came to pick out a ring,” Sam pouts. 

Again, Dean needs a minute. Sam’s not pissed because he found out about him and Cas. He’s mad because Dean didn’t consult him about the ring?

Dean drags one hand down his face. Cas sits next to him and pulls Dean’s hand into his lap. 

“You’ve suspected we’ve been together for five years and never mentioned it.”

“Neither did you!” Sam throws his hands out in exasperation. “For longer!” 

“Okay, well, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the ring. And us,” Dean clears his throat before mumbling, “for thirteen years.” He catches an elbow in his ribs from Cas for that one. 

Sam rolls his eyes, calling Dean a jerk under his breath as he pulls out his phone. He swipes at a few screens and studies the phone. “What are we looking at, time wise? I already shoved a lot around for you Dean, so now you’re behind…” He swipes the screen again. “You guys don’t want to wait until September do you?” He makes a face at his phone. Sam’s already putting his bluetooth in his ear to make a call. 

Man, how did Dean end up with such an awesome brother too? Cas squeezes his hand and Dean knows he’s thinking the same thing. Sam jumping feet first into helping them plan is such a  _ Sam _ thing to do. 

Dean nudges his little brother with his toe and when that doesn’t work, he shoves at him with his entire foot. 

Sam ends his call and pushes Dean’s foot away before he turns to them. “So get this, I might be able to snag you—”  

“Sam!” Dean sits up and claps his hands a few times in another attempt to get Sam’s attention. “It’s taken care of, okay? We took care of it.” Sam registers Dean’s words and pulls his headset out of his ear. 

Dean goes on. “Tomorrow we’ll take a jet upstate, we found this awesome set of cabins up near Lake Placid and a Justice of the Peace willing to work on short notice.” Dean grins at Cas before they look back at Sam. “Come on little brother, be one of our witnesses?” 

Sam’s happy, if his tears give it away. He hugs them both and agrees before he jumps to his feet and back on his phone. Cas informs him of Jessica’s flight and he gets another hug from Sam. He tells Dean he’ll take care of getting the rest of the band’s plans changed so they can come along but not before he stops by the Recorder’s Office to pick up the marriage license. Sam asks Cas to forward him all the reservation confirmations and then he’s gone.

Since that crosses two things off Dean’s to-do list, he pulls Cas into his lap to kiss him slow and lazy. He’s so relieved, so fucking relieved and he hopes Cas can feel it behind his kisses. This is happening. Sam is happy, Sam is  _ helping _ and they’re gonna get married. 

Cas pulls back much to Dean’s disappointment and rests their foreheads together. “OK,” he sighs. “I have a few of my own errands to run, as well.” He kisses the tip of Dean’s nose. “Meet back here for lunch around one?” 

Dean nods and Cas cups his face before kissing him full on the mouth. Dean wants to pull him back but Cas stands too soon. 

“A package is coming for you, around ten. Can you please pack it in my bag?” Cas pulls on his leather jacket. “It’s a surprise, do not open it or I won’t let you wear it.” 

He doesn’t even have time to retort before the door is shutting behind Cas. 

Dean is marrying an asshole. 

 

><><

 

Castiel gets in the elevator and sags against the wall after the doors close. There were so many ways that could have gone and Castiel is glad that someone was looking down on them today. Despite his best intentions, there was always the chance Sam wouldn’t have approved and then Cas thinks he’d be in this elevator feeling very different about the whole thing. 

They were fools for not coming clean years ago.  _ Many _ years. 

When Castiel reaches the ground floor, he pushes out of the building as he pulls up a contact on his phone he’s been avoiding. Not for lack of trying on his brother’s part but Castiel tends to get distracted by Dean when they’re back together. 

He pushes Call. 

“Hey, little bro! Coming up for air, are we?” 

Castiel scowls. “Hello, Gabriel.” 

“How’s your Rockstar? You two kids stay hydrated, you hear?” 

Castiel remembers why he never calls Gabriel. 

“Gabriel, are you done? I have something important to tell you.” Castiel takes a breath to ground himself. “Dean and I are going to get—”  

Gabriel whoops through the phone. “Oh, you guys finally tying the knot then?” he asks excitedly. He doesn’t wait for an answer before continuing. “Good, Sam was getting worried—”  

“Gabriel what the fuck are you—”

“Ok, I'm on the next flight. See you soon, Cassie!” 

_ click  _

Castiel stares blankly at his phone. He’s halfway between 47th and 48th and he’s standing on the sidewalk, completely bewildered by his brother. Gabriel not only knew about them, but also at some point has spoken to Sam about it. In such a way that Sam would share his  _ concerns _ with Gabriel. 

Castiel wonders what Alternate Universe they woke up in this morning. 

He also wonders when they stopped being the only ones keeping secrets. 

By the time Castiel leaves the jewelers, Gabriel is set to arrive shortly after Jess and he wonders if they might be able to fly upstate tonight instead of in the morning. Castiel runs the idea by Dean over lunch. 

Dean chews with a thoughtful look and swallows with a grin. 

“What, Dean? What are you thinking?”

“Thinkin’ about the cottage you picked out for us. The master has French doors that open up to Lake Placid.” He bounces his eyebrows. “If we leave tonight, I get to wake up next to you there.” 

Dean reminds Castiel of a kid on Christmas and he wants to see that look on his face as often as he can. He wipes his mouth and gets out of his chair, only to drop to his knees at Dean’s side. Dean runs one hand through Castiel’s hair and trails his fingers down to tip Castiel’s chin up. 

“Hello, my sunshine.” 

Castiel preens. He rears up to kiss Dean on the lips before he takes Dean’s hands in his. They’re warm and they squeeze back. Castiel pulls one hand free to reach into his pocket and extract the ring box. He taps it against Dean’s knee and Dean sucks in a sharp breath when he sees it. 

“Honey, you didn’t have to,” He reaches out to drag a finger across the top of the box. 

Castiel scoffs. “Half the fun is letting people know you’re mine.” 

Dean’s eyes light up and he taps the box; a quick staccato. “Well, let’s see it.” 

Castiel hopes Dean likes it. 

The ring box opens with a creak, followed by a curious but delighted noise from Dean. The ring is black with an edging that sparkles next to a thin stripe of rose gold. Dean’s fingers drift over the ring and Castiel’s nerves spark under his skin in anticipation. 

Castiel fumbles as he removes it; he lets the box tip to the floor. “It's black tungsten inlaid with meteorite and a band of rose gold.” He hates the way his hands tremble, as he reaches for Dean, but loves the way Dean stills them with his own touch. 

“It’s beautiful, Cas,” Dean breathes out and Castiel feels lightened by his words. 

He slips the ring on Dean’s finger. “Love you so much, today, Dean,” Castiel says while kissing Dean’s fingertips. He trails kisses across Dean’s palms and to the inside of his wrist.

“Love  _ you  _ so much, today, Cas.” Dean curls his hand around Castiel’s head and threads his fingers through Castiel’s hair. “And for as long as we both shall live.”

Castiel’s heart aches and he kisses Dean again and doesn’t stop kissing him until Sam comes to take them to the airfield. 

They sit together in the backseat of the Range Rover, never letting go of each other’s hands. Dean and Sam talk excitedly about the fishing at Lake Placid and Castiel smiles, content with listening to the two brothers chat like it’s just another day in their lives together, like the dynamics of their entire relationship haven’t just changed, like they’re not something just a little  _ more  _ to each other than before. 

The sun reflects off shimmering glass as they drive out of New York City. Castiel enjoys Dean’s floating laughter, mingled with the low hum of Ray LaMontagne on the radio. Castiel feels so at peace, he’s slightly disappointed when they pull up to the waiting jets. 

But when Dean tugs on his hand to help him out of the car, Castiel’s excitement spikes again. Three private jets sit in a cluster and Sam is already up the stairs and opening the door to one. The door to another opens and Gabriel steps out, blinking against the setting sun and slinging a backpack over his shoulder. He takes the stairs two at a time and gathers Castiel up in a hug with a slap to his back. He pushes his aviators to the top of his head. 

“Sup, little bro. What’s with all the fancy jets?” 

Castiel explains the change of plans and is ever thankful of Gabriel’s ability to go with the flow. He’s pulling his bag from the car when Dean calls his name. 

“Cas!”

Castiel shuts the door of the Range Rover, turns to where Dean stands and cups his hand over his brow to take away the glare of the setting sun. Dean is talking to Captain Harvell, a smile on his face. Castiel knows they’re discussing the flight plan. 

When the band outgrew their tour bus and got upgraded to air travel, Dean had to get over his fear of flying. Castiel remembers a time when he would have to drag Dean onto a plane while he hummed Metallica under his breath to calm down. Now, he’s usually the first one on, chatting with the crew and sitting with whatever pilot Senior Captain Singer would assign to them. 

When Singer offered him flying lessons, it didn’t take any convincing from Cas for Dean to accept. He’s only a few hours away from becoming a certified pilot. 

Castiel admires Dean’s tenacity, amongst too many things to count.

He walks towards the plane. 

The sky's on fire behind the jet and Dean is halfway up the stairs, one foot propped on a higher stair than the other, his left hand raised to beckon to Castiel. He’s stunning with his cheeky, excited smile, and his voice ringing out, “Come on sunshine, come marry me up!” 

A faint cheer comes from inside the plane.

Dean’s ring glints in the sun.

Castiel quickens his steps, intent on reaching his entire future that much quicker. 

 

><><

 

Dean doesn’t turn to the door of the plane until Cas’ hand is firmly clasped in his. He nods to Jo—Captain Harvelle and grins when he hears her greet Cas. “Congrats, sir.” And Cas’ shy stumble over his words as he thanks her. 

He’s cute. 

And Dean’s. 

Dean doesn’t make it two steps before they’re both engulfed in hugs. He lifts his favorite sister-in-law off the ground with a hug and kisses Gabriel on top of the head. Charlie is fussing over Cas and Dorothy punches him in the arm. A firm clap on Dean’s shoulder from Benny and a soft smile from Andrea and Dean can finally drop into the seat next to Cas in the back of the plane. He rolls his head to Cas’ shoulder and reaches over him to grab his belt. Cas lifts his arms and raises his eyes away from his phone in surprise as Dean clicks it closed.

Dean sits up and kisses him, pulls back long enough to remind him, “I get to do this now,” before smiling and diving back into Cas’ mouth. Because he can. Because everyone on the plane is there to see them get married and god damn it, Dean’s waited thirteen years to kiss Cas without thinking twice about it. 

So he kisses him again. And again. And once more for luck. 

Cas’ lips are pink and kiss swollen when he pulls away and Dean’s ready to dive back in when a throat clearing stops him. He narrows his eyes and scowls because oh yeah, they  _ aren’t _ in private, they’re on a small airplane with all of their friends and family. 

Awesome. 

Cas is turning pink, and it pains Dean to turn away so he drops his head and turns it towards their audience, but not before securing an innocent look on his face. Sam is at the front of the plane, and thanks to the low ceiling, hunched over, which is probably uncomfortable but he made Dean stop kissing Cas so he can rot. 

“Can I help you, Sammy?” 

“Is this how it’s gonna be now?” Sam is so huffy. 

Dean sits up and points a finger at his huffy brother. “Yes, Sam. Yes,” He throws a thumb back towards Cas. “Have you seen him? He’s hot. And a great kisser. And awesome in—”  

Cas stops him with a firm hand over his mouth. Dean bounces his eyebrows. 

Sam’s smile is wide when he raises a glass of champagne. Damn, Sam thinks of everything. Dean grins at his little brother as two glasses are passed to him and Cas. 

“Dean, Cas, I’m—” he looks at Jess, smiling beside him. “ _ We _ are really happy for you but before I go any further, can I ask you a question?” 

“You already did,” Dean heckles which earns him a nudge from Cas’ elbow. 

“Please go on, Sam,” Cas encourages him. 

Fool. Dean knows when he’s being set up so he grins and waits for it. 

Sam smiles at Cas with his hopeful, puppy dog eyes and Dean knows Cas is done for. 

“Just how long have you and Dean been together?” 

Cas looks delighted to answer, but he looks to Dean before he does. Dean shrugs and almost feels bad for a second about throwing Cas to the wolves. He has to learn somehow, Dean supposes. 

“Since our senior year of high school,” Cas says with pride. Dean wants to kiss him again now, please. 

Sam snaps into professional mode in an instant. 

“Ok, who had thirteen years?” 

The rest of the plane groans and people dig into pockets and purses to take out wallets. Money exchanges hands  _ multiple _ times and Dean is really impressed with this group. Buncha savages. 

Cas’ mouth hangs open and Dean pushes it closed with his finger. He cups Cas’s face in his palm and turns Cas towards him. 

“Can you believe these pe—”  

Dean silences Cas with a kiss. Cas melts into him and fists one hand in Dean’s hair, the other clutching his shoulder and finally,  _ finally, _ Dean has everything he never knew he always wanted.

The cabin erupts in whoops and cheers as the plane takes off. Dean and Cas part to laugh into each other’s mouths, Cas rubbing his nose against Dean’s cheek. He tilts Cas’ smiling mouth back to his. 

Dean kisses Cas again. Because he wants to. 

Because he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG look at that art! Ok, I really hope you enjoyed this little AU I created for them because I really enjoyed writing it! Please let me know what you thought and come say hi on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/casloveshisfreckles).
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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